I'm going pulau pangkor on the 28th of may to 30th of may.2 days nia.hehe.
Sighs.I'm gonna be worry for dolly for that 2 days.T.T
I hope everyone in my family is taking the effort to send her to the right place as in like a nice environment.
Well,I wish everything is gona work smoothly. :)
May 24, 2009
May 18, 2009
May 17, 2009
Sunny day
Today is Sunday.Something happened in the middle of sleeping.I can't believe it.Whoops!I better keep it to myself.I woke up early in the morning,looking at dolly sleeping so cute beside me...aww...she is like a baby sleeping so cute,I dare not disturb her and went back to sleep again.Because if I wake up she will follow me.But when in the middle of the night i woke up,she was like so sleepy that she cannot even get down from the bed,so cute of her you know!I'm loving her so much!HAHA...I woke up around 9 something and i'm here for blogging.So good morning blog spot!
hehe...Before that,I did some research about how can I overcome sadness and be a happy person? Now I'm all well.No worries.I shouldn't think so much anymore,there's so much that I have to go through in my life ,i still need to experience more about life.This situation is still consider a small one,I guess I will face a bigger one in the future.Is just the matter of time.I'm told that this doesn't mean the end of the world ,and i should take it easy.
As I know,my dad is planing for a 2days trip in pulau pangkor after my final exams.I'm quite excited about it.Is been ages that i never been to any trip for years.Now,this is the time to relax and have fun.Everyone in my family will be going,thats what I always wanted all the while.hehe.
Cause the langkawi trip last time was only dad,bro,and I.One of my brother and mom did'nt make it.Finally now everyone of us are going for this trip to pulau pangkor.haha...Family is always the best to go with!
Oh yeah,I did do some research about how this woman over calm herself ;
Break-ups for us especially on women seem to be nightmares. A lot of crying, sleepless nights and desperations are just some of the common effects of relationship break-ups. The hardest questions being asked is how to move on with life without him? Is there happiness after break-up? My answer is YES!!!
You must first understand that relationship break-ups are just a normal thing. That it can happen to anybody. Because not all relationship are made perfect and smooth. Problems and conflicts usually arise and if couples can't bear to handle these obstacles, a break-up will occur.
Women are born much sensitive than men. Mostly, in a relationship, its women who is deeply affected and have difficulty of moving on with life. I had relationship before and experience broken heart due to relationship break-up. But I can say that I was able to overcome that situation and went back to my normal life. How did I do that? Here's how:
1. I always pray to God whenever I feel so lonely. Whatever heartaches and worries that are boggling me were forwarded to Him. He is my source of strength.
2. I listen to good inspirational music and avoid listening to love songs. Gospel songs are good in healing sad feelings. It can also help me have a nice sleep.
3. I engage myself to lots of works. Being busy will give me no time to think about heartaches. Gardening or home crafts are great ideas to start with.
4. I go group dating with friends
. Being with supportive friends will ease your ill feelings.
5. Don't pretend you don't know him or don't avoid talking about him for it will only prolong that recovery period. Its better that you will be used to discuss topic about him until everything becomes just a normal topic.
6. Keep yourself blooming. Develop more your beauty and health care. Don't let your heartaches ruin your personality.
7. Open your heart for a new relationship. Don't be afraid to love once more. Not all men are the same. Just be extra careful next time in choosing the right guy.
It is true that time will heal the wounds but it is also a fact that the person involved must do actions to make time do it.
Do you think I can do like what she does?Well,I shall try.
But number 5 is impossible.And number 7 is hard.Oh ya!number 4,i don't have many friends,so is a bit hard.Sighs.And the rest I'm okay with it maybe.=)
I found this video:
hehe...Before that,I did some research about how can I overcome sadness and be a happy person? Now I'm all well.No worries.I shouldn't think so much anymore,there's so much that I have to go through in my life ,i still need to experience more about life.This situation is still consider a small one,I guess I will face a bigger one in the future.Is just the matter of time.I'm told that this doesn't mean the end of the world ,and i should take it easy.
As I know,my dad is planing for a 2days trip in pulau pangkor after my final exams.I'm quite excited about it.Is been ages that i never been to any trip for years.Now,this is the time to relax and have fun.Everyone in my family will be going,thats what I always wanted all the while.hehe.
Cause the langkawi trip last time was only dad,bro,and I.One of my brother and mom did'nt make it.Finally now everyone of us are going for this trip to pulau pangkor.haha...Family is always the best to go with!
Oh yeah,I did do some research about how this woman over calm herself ;
Break-ups for us especially on women seem to be nightmares. A lot of crying, sleepless nights and desperations are just some of the common effects of relationship break-ups. The hardest questions being asked is how to move on with life without him? Is there happiness after break-up? My answer is YES!!!
You must first understand that relationship break-ups are just a normal thing. That it can happen to anybody. Because not all relationship are made perfect and smooth. Problems and conflicts usually arise and if couples can't bear to handle these obstacles, a break-up will occur.
Women are born much sensitive than men. Mostly, in a relationship, its women who is deeply affected and have difficulty of moving on with life. I had relationship before and experience broken heart due to relationship break-up. But I can say that I was able to overcome that situation and went back to my normal life. How did I do that? Here's how:
1. I always pray to God whenever I feel so lonely. Whatever heartaches and worries that are boggling me were forwarded to Him. He is my source of strength.
2. I listen to good inspirational music and avoid listening to love songs. Gospel songs are good in healing sad feelings. It can also help me have a nice sleep.
3. I engage myself to lots of works. Being busy will give me no time to think about heartaches. Gardening or home crafts are great ideas to start with.
4. I go group dating with friends
. Being with supportive friends will ease your ill feelings.
5. Don't pretend you don't know him or don't avoid talking about him for it will only prolong that recovery period. Its better that you will be used to discuss topic about him until everything becomes just a normal topic.
6. Keep yourself blooming. Develop more your beauty and health care. Don't let your heartaches ruin your personality.
7. Open your heart for a new relationship. Don't be afraid to love once more. Not all men are the same. Just be extra careful next time in choosing the right guy.
It is true that time will heal the wounds but it is also a fact that the person involved must do actions to make time do it.
Do you think I can do like what she does?Well,I shall try.
But number 5 is impossible.And number 7 is hard.Oh ya!number 4,i don't have many friends,so is a bit hard.Sighs.And the rest I'm okay with it maybe.=)
I found this video:
May 16, 2009
May 15, 2009
He left ;
I'm falling apart.
How I wish he knew how I feel when he left me .
_____________________________________________________________
I walked out all alone,
Get some left over coins and called her from the public phone.
I crossed the road and walked again,
till i can see the sky so clear in front my eyes,I tell myself why is this happening to me.
Siting on the stone looking at the waves from the sea like an idiot crying myself all alone without anyone there for me.
It was drizzling,and i thought it would rain heavily.But why is it not raining i wonder.
Sighs.
Siting alone while waiting for a close friend to reach for one hour.
But she still haven't reach and I
thought of my parents will get worried,and i decided to walked back home alone for not letting them to get worry of me just because of this matter I have in me.
Well,I'm glad that she is able to come and console me even though she has chicken pox.
No matter how ugly her hands looks like she still took the effort to come from public bus just to cheer me up.I thank her for being such a good friend for many years.
Everything just happened so quickly and it ended so fast.
He's gone,He's already gone.He might be gone forever.
Tsk..Tsk
Time past and people changed.
I shall face what I'm having now and i got to go through everything.
This is the time and perhaps this is the end of my love life.
But the feelings I have in me,will still remain the same.
How I wish he knew how I feel when he left me .
_____________________________________________________________
I walked out all alone,
Get some left over coins and called her from the public phone.
I crossed the road and walked again,
till i can see the sky so clear in front my eyes,I tell myself why is this happening to me.
Siting on the stone looking at the waves from the sea like an idiot crying myself all alone without anyone there for me.
It was drizzling,and i thought it would rain heavily.But why is it not raining i wonder.
Sighs.
Siting alone while waiting for a close friend to reach for one hour.
But she still haven't reach and I
thought of my parents will get worried,and i decided to walked back home alone for not letting them to get worry of me just because of this matter I have in me.
Well,I'm glad that she is able to come and console me even though she has chicken pox.
No matter how ugly her hands looks like she still took the effort to come from public bus just to cheer me up.I thank her for being such a good friend for many years.
Everything just happened so quickly and it ended so fast.
He's gone,He's already gone.He might be gone forever.
Tsk..Tsk
Time past and people changed.
I shall face what I'm having now and i got to go through everything.
This is the time and perhaps this is the end of my love life.
But the feelings I have in me,will still remain the same.
May 4, 2009
I am truly sorry ;
Tied around the mess I've made
The air I breathe much harder
Everytime I speak
The words you've heard a thousand times
I know you're sick of it.
I'm sorry for making everything that hurts the most.
And after all is said and done
You pick me up no matter where i fall
You hold me in your arms and
thats like the luckiest feeling of all...
I've learned from the past,and i fear of making any stupid mistakes again.
Somehow, I can't change the past, but I belive I can change the future.
And I'm really sorry for what I've done.
The air I breathe much harder
Everytime I speak
The words you've heard a thousand times
I know you're sick of it.
I'm sorry for making everything that hurts the most.
And after all is said and done
You pick me up no matter where i fall
You hold me in your arms and
thats like the luckiest feeling of all...
I've learned from the past,and i fear of making any stupid mistakes again.
Somehow, I can't change the past, but I belive I can change the future.
And I'm really sorry for what I've done.
May 3, 2009
Sunday
Have you heard of this quote?
Pay no mind to those who talk behind your back,
it simply means that you are two steps ahead.
that is one of my favourite quote.(:
I love the weather today,very cooling!
Nice to sleep,but still cant sleep as late as I wanted yet.Sighs.
Dolly asked me to carry her,and now she's siting on me.Lol.
So fast,and is gona be monday again.
My life is becoming so meaningless each day I woke up.
Well,how i wish i have someone to talk to when i'm bored or sad instead of talking to my self
everytime.I know is crazy to talk to myself.Lol.
I wish dolly could talk to me,and understand me.so that i can express out all my feelings and i would'nt have type it all here.You know why i wish for dollly?Cause i know dolly will never betray me.She will always be home whenever i need her.She always know what I have done in the past lately.She knew everything,but sad thing is ,she cant talk.
And I treat dolly like my sister,as you know im the only daughter in the family.Imagine how boring can it be with no one to talk to especially im sad.,there's no one that i can talk to about my feelings!Everytime i need to call and waste money to just express my feelings out to a close friend.Sometimes,i have this thinking she might get bored of me saying all about how i feel.Moreover everytime when i call she will be busy working for her mum and no time to console me,
And i will feel left out.
Well,afterall...i still prefer a sister that lives together with me.
************************************
Treasured memories of one so dear
Though absent you are always near
A million words could not express
My love, my sorrow, my emptiness.
*********************************************************
Cry myself to sleep
day after day
night after night
i fell and fell
but nothing seemed right
so i got down on my knees and begged
plz be with me but nothing is going to work
so i cry myself to sleep...
Goodnight my love.
May 2, 2009
This song always cheer me up ;
I always listen to this when I can't move on with my life.This song really helps me to be strong.I really love this song seriously!
When you get caught in the rain
With nowhere to run
When youre distraught
And in pain without anyone
When we keep crying out
To be safe
But nobody comes
And you feel so far away
That you just can't find your way home
you can get there alone
it's okay
once you say
I can make it through the rain
I can stand up once again
On my own and I know
That Im strong enough to mend
And every time I feel afraid
I hold tighter to my faith
And I live one more day
And I make it through the rain
And if you keep falling down
Dont you dare give in
You will arise safe and sound
So keep pressing on steadfastly
And youll find what you need to prevail
Once you say is
I can make it through the rain
I can stand up once again
On my own and I know
That Im strong enough to mend
And every time I feel afraid
I hold tighter to my faith
And I live one more day
And I make it through the rain
And when the wind blows
And shadows grow close
Dont be afraid
Theres nothing you cant face
And should they tell you
Youll never pull through
Dont hesitate
Stand tall and say
Yeah yeah yeahhhh
I can make it through the rain
I can stand up once again
On my own and I know
That Im strong enough to mend
And every time I feel afraid
I hold tighter to my faith
And I live one more day
And I'll make it through the rain
I can make it through the rain
Can stand up once again
And I live one more day, and I
I can make it through the rain
Oh yes, you can
Youre gonna make it through the rain.
♥
Everytime I stumble,
This song will always be in my mind.And I will listen to it to cheer up myself.
The louder it plays on my ear phone,the more i feel the comfort from this song.It helps me to wipe away my silent tears and wipe away the pain. ♥
It does not need a special day to bring you to my mind
The days when I don't think of you are very hard to find
Your loss is a heartache no one can heal
Your memory is something no one can steal
Wishing your absence was only a dream...
__________________________________________________
Beautiful memories silently kept
Of one we loved and will never forget.
When you get caught in the rain
With nowhere to run
When youre distraught
And in pain without anyone
When we keep crying out
To be safe
But nobody comes
And you feel so far away
That you just can't find your way home
you can get there alone
it's okay
once you say
I can make it through the rain
I can stand up once again
On my own and I know
That Im strong enough to mend
And every time I feel afraid
I hold tighter to my faith
And I live one more day
And I make it through the rain
And if you keep falling down
Dont you dare give in
You will arise safe and sound
So keep pressing on steadfastly
And youll find what you need to prevail
Once you say is
I can make it through the rain
I can stand up once again
On my own and I know
That Im strong enough to mend
And every time I feel afraid
I hold tighter to my faith
And I live one more day
And I make it through the rain
And when the wind blows
And shadows grow close
Dont be afraid
Theres nothing you cant face
And should they tell you
Youll never pull through
Dont hesitate
Stand tall and say
Yeah yeah yeahhhh
I can make it through the rain
I can stand up once again
On my own and I know
That Im strong enough to mend
And every time I feel afraid
I hold tighter to my faith
And I live one more day
And I'll make it through the rain
I can make it through the rain
Can stand up once again
And I live one more day, and I
I can make it through the rain
Oh yes, you can
Youre gonna make it through the rain.
♥
Everytime I stumble,
This song will always be in my mind.And I will listen to it to cheer up myself.
The louder it plays on my ear phone,the more i feel the comfort from this song.It helps me to wipe away my silent tears and wipe away the pain. ♥
It does not need a special day to bring you to my mind
The days when I don't think of you are very hard to find
Your loss is a heartache no one can heal
Your memory is something no one can steal
Wishing your absence was only a dream...
__________________________________________________
Beautiful memories silently kept
Of one we loved and will never forget.
Life Quotes
There comes a point in your life
when you realize who matters,
who never did,
who wont anymore,
and who always will.
So don't worry about people from your past,
there's a reason why they didn't make it to your future.
There comes a time in life
When you have to let go of all
the pointless drama
and the people who create it and surround yourself
with people who make you laugh
so hard that you forget
the bad and focus solely on the good.
After all,life is too short to be anything but happy.
April 30, 2009
Heartless People with no brain to think.=[
Woke up in the morning,and I started to get ''OMG.WHY!''Well,it was a forwarded email from a friend.Sighs...Seriously,I'm very sad to see this happening.Is so painful to see all this babies.I almost cried.How sad!
It says;
It says;Think before you decide to have sex. Think before you get an unwanted pregnancy. A baby is for life, its not a toy. Use your brain before you dump the baby in a garbage bin and leave the baby to die. You should know whether is your boyfriend are ready to get married or take responsibility or not if you get pregnant. If no then don’t have sex or practice safe sex.If you thought you were ready to have sex, you should consider what would happen if you became pregnant.I am not talking about religious part, people know about it. You should get married to prevent committing the sin of fornication or adultery. People won’t do it if they think about religious.How if you have an unwanted pregnancy today, what would you do? Are you ready to be a mother? If yes, then good for you.Now you have the child no matter what. It is a life that you have created, and if you are unable to take care of this child, you can do the most unselfish, loving thing, and that is to let a loving family adopt him/her. That is the choice you have to make. Don’t dump your baby..
Bored
Helena & Me.I'm missing her.
I hope to hear from her soon.
She is one of my good friend when i was in chili's.
I still remember all the past we had together.
*sobs*
Now,she's no longer living here anymore.
Sighs.
How i wish i could turn back time.
Hopefully she is doing fine there and still having a good relationship with forest.
Thanks to forest for sending me this picture of helena and me.
April 25, 2009
Mid term exams over,but one more to go.
One more to go on the 6th of May.sighs.
I'm tired of studying,how i wish i could sleep,eat,sleep,eat ,sleep again and eat again.
Then I won't be this skinny anymore.
Honestly,i'm SUPER LAZY.
Ahhh well,I've nothing much to write about today.
I'm bored la...
How I wish you 're here with me.
I'm missing you.
=/
April 24, 2009
最近
你最近不说话
怎麽了 为什麽
是不是有什麽事让你不快乐
听说你最近很孤单
有点乱 有点慌
可是我却不能够在你的身旁
你想要的我却不能够给你我全部
我能给的
却又不是你想要拥有的
我们不适合也不想认输
好几次我们抱着彼此都是想要哭
你常解释这样的一切都只是开始
我觉得是所有的一切早就已结束
不想再约束不要再痛苦
下一次会有更好的情路
你最近不说话
怎麽了 为什麽
是不是有什麽事让你不快乐
听说你最近很孤单
有点乱 有点慌
可是我却不能够在你的身旁
你想要的我却不能够给你我全部
我能给的却又不是你想要拥有的
我们不适合也不想认输
好几次我们抱着彼此都是想要哭
你常解释这样的一切都只是开始
我觉得是所有的一切早就已结束
不想再约束不要再痛苦
下一次会有更好的情路
爱我却不能给你我全部我能给的
却又不是你想要拥有的我们不适合也不想认输
好几次我们抱着彼此都是想要哭
你常解释这样的一切都只是开始
我觉得是所有的一切早就已结束
不想再约束不要再痛苦
下一次会有更好的情路
这一次我们都能很幸福
怎麽了 为什麽
是不是有什麽事让你不快乐
听说你最近很孤单
有点乱 有点慌
可是我却不能够在你的身旁
你想要的我却不能够给你我全部
我能给的
却又不是你想要拥有的
我们不适合也不想认输
好几次我们抱着彼此都是想要哭
你常解释这样的一切都只是开始
我觉得是所有的一切早就已结束
不想再约束不要再痛苦
下一次会有更好的情路
你最近不说话
怎麽了 为什麽
是不是有什麽事让你不快乐
听说你最近很孤单
有点乱 有点慌
可是我却不能够在你的身旁
你想要的我却不能够给你我全部
我能给的却又不是你想要拥有的
我们不适合也不想认输
好几次我们抱着彼此都是想要哭
你常解释这样的一切都只是开始
我觉得是所有的一切早就已结束
不想再约束不要再痛苦
下一次会有更好的情路
爱我却不能给你我全部我能给的
却又不是你想要拥有的我们不适合也不想认输
好几次我们抱着彼此都是想要哭
你常解释这样的一切都只是开始
我觉得是所有的一切早就已结束
不想再约束不要再痛苦
下一次会有更好的情路
这一次我们都能很幸福
April 18, 2009
Feelings that will never fade.
My compassion is broken now.
My will is eroded, and my desire stolen and it makes me feel ugly.
I'm on my knees and burning.
My piss and moans are the fuel that set my head on fire.
So smell my soul burning.
I'm broken, looking up to see the enemy. I
have swallowed the poison you feed me... but I survive on it,
and it leaves me guilt fed, hatred fed, weakness fed.. and I feel ugly, and dead inside.
Shit adds up at the bottom.
You've left me no choice but to go inside and rebuild what's broken.
Too much, too far, too late to lie down now.
I must arm myself to fight you by making weapons out of my imperfections.
It's all I have left. There's no other choice.
I'm shameless, nameless, nothing, and no one now.
But my soul must be iron for my fear is naked. I'm naked and fearless.
But I'm dead inside.
You see.. shit adds up, now I'm dead inside.
Hatred, weakness, and guilt keep me alive at the bottom.
-I will be good,I will sleep in peace,and I'm done in feeling the pain.Goodnight.-
April 7, 2009
Shinjuku Incident
Carolyne and me ended up watching movie.I never know carolyne would ask me for a movie,because I was in the mood for a movie earlier.So we picked the earliest one which is shinjuku incident...5pm.Shinjuku incident was a nice movie.I shall say,it is worth to watch but the story are kinda heavy for young audiences,because it is too violent.But from what I think,they acted so cool.Unfortunately,all died including the hero.How sad.
My nose bleed again and again.Sighs.Is it because of the weather or i'm under pressure?LOL.XD
Oh yeah...Fyi,I deleted my friendster account.I'm no longer in friendster anymore.And is hard to belive i can actually did that.All my pictures was in it,and I dont have any copy of it.From now,those pictures I have last time doesnt matter me anymore.Unlike last time pictures of me are always so precious to me.But now,everything has change.No point having it to share anymore.
*How I wish someday we could watch it together.Honestly, Movies makes me thought of the past.*
I just realized how stupid I am all this while.Just because of you as a many years friend causing my mistake like the end of my life.I hope you know how I feel and I hope you could make it right for me.I just need to say this,cause I know I don't deserve this ending.
Tuesday...
Wake up early in the morning for 9:30 class ,then off to college.
Copy notes as usual;
Came back around 1pm.Here's my lunch for today;
Dad's cooking;Yummy...
Yesterday's ;-My bro's girlfriend ''carolyne'' borrowed me some books to read;
Went shopping with her,ended up i just bought one black short.Is cheap.Lol.
Carolyne is coming over later so
Carolyne is coming over later sothat's all for today.
And...And...I miss watching movies lately...=/
aiks...
Got to study hard for my quiz and mid term exam.Hopefully everything is fine.
Your's Truly;
April 6, 2009
The pieces of my heart.
If it’s snowing here. The bizarre weather might be like a reflection of my heart, if I have any. In snow we met, in snow we part, in snow I missed you. I long for your touch, your smile, your kind words but it’s all gone now. In one fell swoop, it’s all gone now. You are gone from my life, perhaps forever.
Sometimes I resent you other times I cant but imagine the wonderful, magical moments we shared.Meeting eachother was perhaps the best and worst thing that happened to me.
Most people don’t believe in love at first sight, but I do. The moment I saw you, you stole my heart away. A little voice whispered to me, “He is the one.” And I wanted to say you are mine and I love you forever, my dear I have finally found you. Secretly, wishing that I could have your number, You got mine and my world started to change. I started to bloom like a flower swaying in the spring air.
Before I met you, my heart was frozen for so many times, chilled by the obstacles life threw at me like the unreturned love, and heart wrenching betrayals. To me, you exude warmth and love, something I could only dream of discovering. In your words, I found care and understanding. The frost inside me finally started to melt because of you. You have nourished my heart like the spring rain bringing hope to the snow covered earth.
I remember each moment like yesterday, so vividly, vibrant and vivacious. Its hard to believe that its over. Each time I try to forget about you, I fall more and more in love with you; I cant forget about you. My heart has never left you. This is how I can keep my promise to you.
I want to love you and be there for you, but I was so weak I couldn’t be as good as you wanted me to be. The night you called me,I was crying and sobbing. You told me you wanted to leave me.I felt the pain in my heart. I gave you all the love you would need, all the trust, all of me. And you told me you never trusted me at all, it felt like you took at sharp dagger and stabbed me in the heart. I bled of hope, vanishing as quickly as the fire consumed your love letter to me.
We thought if we left eachother, we would not feel hurt anymore. We was wrong . Each night I lay awake, on my bed, wondering what would have happened if there's still any chance. Thinking that perhaps if I have the chance, I could have inspired myself to be a better one, I could have shown you the strength and endurance of real love. Is it over now?
In my mind, our memories haunt me. I walk around possessed by what we had, by what I lost, the magical moment, the safe feeling of your embrace; all just memories of the wonderful times we shared when our paths crossed. Starting from our first date, I will never forget that.Watched movies and being so lovely together. It reminded me of the most simple and youthful happiness, untainted by the passage of time. We were in our own world. Somewhere no one could ever touch.
In your arms, I was not scared because you were there to protect me, to be with me.Your soft lips pressing against me, sucking my soul into you. I was in love and still am.
You told me about your past,I know something like this can scar the heart. Sometimes I can see that pain in you, conjuring doubt of my love for you.
Each time you doubt my love for you, each time you question my sincerity, I have tried to understand the baggage you carry. I have tried to standby you. The most devastating memory I recall was when you mentioned about the word ''Goodbye'' I knew you will never come back. I couldn’t sleep the whole night, each moment I tried to snap myself back to reality and accept what you decided. I couldn’t.
As the salty tears run down my cheek, I gasped for each breath like a fish out of water. I thought by showing my love for you will make you feel secure and I thought it was obvious that I am completely in love with you; I am yours and only yours. When you questioned me, like that,uncertain about me, it breaks my heart. Perhaps your looming history caused you to think that a woman can’t love unconditionally, I can, I do; I am different. Perhaps,to you im just the same.
When you came back to me, my world lit up like fireworks lighting up the summer sky; we were so much in love.
I would have given you anything and everything. I tried my hardest to make you happy, yet my efforts seemed futile because you don’t trust me.At times,I know I lied about those,But i didnt want you to feel down over your work stuffs.I'm sorry about that.
When I look back, all I have now is memories to hold onto, without you they seem just like dreams. Sometimes I wake up at night wondering if I dreamt all this, then I see the photos of how happy we used to be, I know it was real. It is real. As real as the last glance of you, I saw you giving me the last smile, the last wave, the last of everything we held so dearly to our hearts. Some will say memories like that fade but I will remember it as vividly as yesterday.
Walking the path alone now, taking the path that we used to be. Sadly, it is all gone because of the mistakes I made and my lack of endurance for both your pain and mine. Now, the coldness penetrates my body; your warmth is not there to protect me anymore. I resent and hate myself for not being understanding. I should have never make that mistake. I have endure you so much from you. You will never forgive me; you probably hate me. I wish I could do something to mend our scars but I know nothing will heal the pain we have caused onto each other. I feel helpless. Nothing will be the same. Due to our brief encounter, we have changed for better or for worse. I only hope that our paths will cross again. I still miss you very much. Is that possible to do so after everything that happened?I doubt.
And I have to say this losing you is like losing my everything. You broke my heart for saying awful things about me,I will never forget whatever you've said to me.You don't know how powerful are those to hurt me so bad.Is hard and is difficult to move on,but life still goes on,I got to be strong.Thanks alot.
Sometimes I resent you other times I cant but imagine the wonderful, magical moments we shared.Meeting eachother was perhaps the best and worst thing that happened to me.
Most people don’t believe in love at first sight, but I do. The moment I saw you, you stole my heart away. A little voice whispered to me, “He is the one.” And I wanted to say you are mine and I love you forever, my dear I have finally found you. Secretly, wishing that I could have your number, You got mine and my world started to change. I started to bloom like a flower swaying in the spring air.
Before I met you, my heart was frozen for so many times, chilled by the obstacles life threw at me like the unreturned love, and heart wrenching betrayals. To me, you exude warmth and love, something I could only dream of discovering. In your words, I found care and understanding. The frost inside me finally started to melt because of you. You have nourished my heart like the spring rain bringing hope to the snow covered earth.
I remember each moment like yesterday, so vividly, vibrant and vivacious. Its hard to believe that its over. Each time I try to forget about you, I fall more and more in love with you; I cant forget about you. My heart has never left you. This is how I can keep my promise to you.
I want to love you and be there for you, but I was so weak I couldn’t be as good as you wanted me to be. The night you called me,I was crying and sobbing. You told me you wanted to leave me.I felt the pain in my heart. I gave you all the love you would need, all the trust, all of me. And you told me you never trusted me at all, it felt like you took at sharp dagger and stabbed me in the heart. I bled of hope, vanishing as quickly as the fire consumed your love letter to me.
We thought if we left eachother, we would not feel hurt anymore. We was wrong . Each night I lay awake, on my bed, wondering what would have happened if there's still any chance. Thinking that perhaps if I have the chance, I could have inspired myself to be a better one, I could have shown you the strength and endurance of real love. Is it over now?
In my mind, our memories haunt me. I walk around possessed by what we had, by what I lost, the magical moment, the safe feeling of your embrace; all just memories of the wonderful times we shared when our paths crossed. Starting from our first date, I will never forget that.Watched movies and being so lovely together. It reminded me of the most simple and youthful happiness, untainted by the passage of time. We were in our own world. Somewhere no one could ever touch.
In your arms, I was not scared because you were there to protect me, to be with me.Your soft lips pressing against me, sucking my soul into you. I was in love and still am.
You told me about your past,I know something like this can scar the heart. Sometimes I can see that pain in you, conjuring doubt of my love for you.
Each time you doubt my love for you, each time you question my sincerity, I have tried to understand the baggage you carry. I have tried to standby you. The most devastating memory I recall was when you mentioned about the word ''Goodbye'' I knew you will never come back. I couldn’t sleep the whole night, each moment I tried to snap myself back to reality and accept what you decided. I couldn’t.
As the salty tears run down my cheek, I gasped for each breath like a fish out of water. I thought by showing my love for you will make you feel secure and I thought it was obvious that I am completely in love with you; I am yours and only yours. When you questioned me, like that,uncertain about me, it breaks my heart. Perhaps your looming history caused you to think that a woman can’t love unconditionally, I can, I do; I am different. Perhaps,to you im just the same.
When you came back to me, my world lit up like fireworks lighting up the summer sky; we were so much in love.
I would have given you anything and everything. I tried my hardest to make you happy, yet my efforts seemed futile because you don’t trust me.At times,I know I lied about those,But i didnt want you to feel down over your work stuffs.I'm sorry about that.
When I look back, all I have now is memories to hold onto, without you they seem just like dreams. Sometimes I wake up at night wondering if I dreamt all this, then I see the photos of how happy we used to be, I know it was real. It is real. As real as the last glance of you, I saw you giving me the last smile, the last wave, the last of everything we held so dearly to our hearts. Some will say memories like that fade but I will remember it as vividly as yesterday.
Walking the path alone now, taking the path that we used to be. Sadly, it is all gone because of the mistakes I made and my lack of endurance for both your pain and mine. Now, the coldness penetrates my body; your warmth is not there to protect me anymore. I resent and hate myself for not being understanding. I should have never make that mistake. I have endure you so much from you. You will never forgive me; you probably hate me. I wish I could do something to mend our scars but I know nothing will heal the pain we have caused onto each other. I feel helpless. Nothing will be the same. Due to our brief encounter, we have changed for better or for worse. I only hope that our paths will cross again. I still miss you very much. Is that possible to do so after everything that happened?I doubt.
And I have to say this losing you is like losing my everything. You broke my heart for saying awful things about me,I will never forget whatever you've said to me.You don't know how powerful are those to hurt me so bad.Is hard and is difficult to move on,but life still goes on,I got to be strong.Thanks alot.
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