when will it stop
the pain
that darkness
that that that
that part of me
that was or Y-O-U!
why can't you feel it
why did u leave
why why why?
love hurts
but so does life
I hate to see the one I love happy with somebody
but I surely hate it more to see the one I love unhappy with me...
November 25, 2009
November 15, 2009
good good day:
Went to the work shop yesterday and visited sarah in adventist hospital.
Got the T-shirt and is white...My favorite!=D
Pictures below:
Sarah:
WOOT!I'm loving the colour of my hair now:
_______________________________________________________________
Sighs...
Dad is going off to work in Macau for 3 months.And he is going off on this coming thursday...
So fast...=[ No more food on the table for me for 3 months.
I dislike to live with my mum,cause she is a very irresponsible mother.
I love my dad ,but he had to go.Dolly and I will be missing him a lot.
And no more astro from now onwards because astro is giving a lot of problems.Always cannot watch when raining and the wire spoiled or something.
So dad is going to cut off the astro by today and off to Macau very soon.
Sighs...
My life is going to be a miserable one without my dad.My college gonna start soon and I guess i'm going to walk to college everyday instead of asking my mum to fetch me there.
She will definitely ask me to walk there alone.
I HATE HER.
T.T
I'm just half way learning to drive;even if I got my P licence I still dont have a car with me yet cause dad will not be with me.
Cause he told me he will buy me a small car to drive...=[
Well,I got to wait until next year already.
Will be going for a farewell dinner tonight with my bro's girlfriend and my parents.
Is gonna be Evelyn and my dad's farewell.
One is going off to KL and another one is going off to MACAU.
Will miss them a lot.
Got the T-shirt and is white...My favorite!=D
Pictures below:
Sarah:
WOOT!I'm loving the colour of my hair now:
_______________________________________________________________Sighs...
Dad is going off to work in Macau for 3 months.And he is going off on this coming thursday...
So fast...=[ No more food on the table for me for 3 months.
I dislike to live with my mum,cause she is a very irresponsible mother.
I love my dad ,but he had to go.Dolly and I will be missing him a lot.
And no more astro from now onwards because astro is giving a lot of problems.Always cannot watch when raining and the wire spoiled or something.
So dad is going to cut off the astro by today and off to Macau very soon.
Sighs...
My life is going to be a miserable one without my dad.My college gonna start soon and I guess i'm going to walk to college everyday instead of asking my mum to fetch me there.
She will definitely ask me to walk there alone.
I HATE HER.
T.T
I'm just half way learning to drive;even if I got my P licence I still dont have a car with me yet cause dad will not be with me.
Cause he told me he will buy me a small car to drive...=[
Well,I got to wait until next year already.
Will be going for a farewell dinner tonight with my bro's girlfriend and my parents.
Is gonna be Evelyn and my dad's farewell.
One is going off to KL and another one is going off to MACAU.
Will miss them a lot.
What if whats best for "us"
Is whats hardest to do
I still love you but,
I have to let you go
November 12, 2009
I love you....
I Love You Goodbye – Nina
Wish i could be the one
The one who could give you love
The kind of love you really need
Wish i could say to you
That i’ll always stay with you
But baby that’s not me
You need someone willing to give their heart and soul to you
Promise you forever, baby that’s something i can’t do
Oh i could say that i’ll be all you need
But that would be a lie
I know i’d only hurt you
I know i’d only make you cry
I’m not the one you’re needing
I love you, goodbye
I hope someday you can find some way to understand i’m only doing this for you
I don’t really wanna go
But deep in my heart i know this is the kindest thing to do
You’ll find someone who’ll be the one that i could never be
Who’ll give you something better
Than the love you’ll find with me
Oh i could say that i’ll be all you need
But that would be a crime
I know i’d only hurt you
I know i’d only make you cry
I’m not the one you’re needing
I love you, goodbye
Leaving someone when you love someone
Is the hardest thing to do
When you love someone as much as i love you
Oh i don’t wanna leave you
Baby it tears me up inside
But i’ll never be the one you’re needing
I love you, goodbye
Baby, its never ganna work out
I love you, goodbye
November 11, 2009
Incredible child genius in malaysia
Who is this child genius?
His name is Adi Putra Abdul GhaniHe is a CEO and a lecturer now.
The star says:
CHILD genius Adi Putra Abdul Ghani, 10, is now the chief executive officer of two companies and a lecturer who charges RM6,000 per hour, Sin Chew Daily and Nanyang Siang Pau reported.
The dailies said his mother Serihana Alias operates the two companies, which sell vitamins under the brand Adi.
Adi Putra, who is supposed to be attending Year Four classes at his age, has stopped schooling.
He has been invited to certain local universities to give lectures.
The Perak-born child genius, who moved to Selangor with his family a few years ago, was quoted as saying that he wanted to be a lecturer in Islamic studies.
Serihana said he keeps track of foreign stock markets via the Internet and studies at home.
“He’s interested in mathematics, physics, chemistry, geography and biology, but not so much in history and politics. He dislikes reading books but loves spending his time browsing the Net for study materials.
“Adi also hopes to study in Canada, Singapore or the United States, but we have yet to come to a final decision,” she said.
Even a teacher or a lecturer can't even afford to have that amount of money per hour...
This young boy is seriously BRILLIANT!
He is going to be very successful in the future.
How amazing to see such a young boy earning so much than the teachers and lecturers.XD
November 7, 2009
Emotinal thoughts :
I have always wanted to know you since I first saw you walking out,but I never dare to do so.
But I never thought that you will be gone that soon.
I'm just a little bit too late to know your name and so much about you.
I never judge wrong about you when the first time I see you.
You left so much of memories here and is all a good one.
People could only treasure the past of what you've left today.
Is really sad to hear about the sudden death of yours.
I was really shocked,I thought it wasn't you.But when I see clearly,it was really you.
Is really hard to accept the truth.
I admit I cried for you even I don't have the chance to see you or get to know you again.
Wish you could have live longer but is alright,I believe you're now in a better place.
May you rest in peace.
Reminiscing back:
The first time I saw you,you was walking out from your house,and I was walking back to my house after school by public bus.
The last time I saw you,you went to the nearby coffee shop to buy food from the Japanese stall.It was really a surprise to met you there,but still we don't even know each other.
But now,you're gone and i only started to know so much about you,isn't it too late?
Well,is destiny.
________________________________________________________________
For those who are facing a sudden death of your beloved friends or family :
Take all the time you need to feel all that you need to feel.
Take all the time you need to remember and revisit all that you experienced and shared with the one you lost.
There will be a day when you do not weep.
There will be a day when you surprise yourself with a small laugh.
There will be a day when your heart’s heaviness has lifted.
But I never thought that you will be gone that soon.
I'm just a little bit too late to know your name and so much about you.
I never judge wrong about you when the first time I see you.
You left so much of memories here and is all a good one.
People could only treasure the past of what you've left today.
Is really sad to hear about the sudden death of yours.
I was really shocked,I thought it wasn't you.But when I see clearly,it was really you.
Is really hard to accept the truth.
I admit I cried for you even I don't have the chance to see you or get to know you again.
Wish you could have live longer but is alright,I believe you're now in a better place.
May you rest in peace.
Reminiscing back:
The first time I saw you,you was walking out from your house,and I was walking back to my house after school by public bus.
The last time I saw you,you went to the nearby coffee shop to buy food from the Japanese stall.It was really a surprise to met you there,but still we don't even know each other.
But now,you're gone and i only started to know so much about you,isn't it too late?
Well,is destiny.
________________________________________________________________
For those who are facing a sudden death of your beloved friends or family :
Take all the time you need to feel all that you need to feel.
Take all the time you need to remember and revisit all that you experienced and shared with the one you lost.
There will be a day when you do not weep.
There will be a day when you surprise yourself with a small laugh.
There will be a day when your heart’s heaviness has lifted.
November 5, 2009
Random
HeartBroken
You have been hurt, and you don't know where to go from this point. Listen to this song! Its a good one! (Lifehouse) Broken (Lyrics) I'm falling apart I'm barely breathing With a broken heart That's still beating In the pain There is heal...ing In your name I find meaning So I'm holding on (I'm holdin on)(I'm holdin on) I'm barely holding on to you The broken locks were a warning You got inside my head I tried my best to be guarded I'm an open book instead And I still see your reflection Inside of my eyes That are looking for purpose They're still looking for life
Emily took What State Is Your Heart In?
Heart Thats Been Shattered
Your heart has been shattered beyond hope, everyday brings more pain and endless despair. Someone may have just taken your heart and crushed it in their hands and you feel it throb within your chest everyday. To you love brings only pain and misery even w...hat were once your closest memories just bring tears now, if there is any hope of your smile ever returning or this pain ever ending your can't see it from where you are.
Is so true about me,I go OMG...IS SO TRUE! Before I did the quiz I was so addicted to LIFEHOUSE!The first song I heard was BROKEN,and i find it very very meaningful and nice and started to search more of thier songs.And Half of the songs suits me!Woo hooo...=D
Love is Pain :
The sweets:
I found my sweets in my handbag pocket!!!Gosh,is been so long already.Hmmm...let me see when was the last time I blog about this sweets.haha...
Lol!I found the post already :
http://aslifeflows.blogspot.com/2009/09/time-flies-when-youre-busy.html
wow...it was since 19/9/09 so it means since 19 september 2009...Haha...Months ago already.
I'm gonna eat it to get my self stomach pain.=D
November 4, 2009
LIFEHOUSE <3333
"Whatever It Takes"
A strangled smile fell from your face
It kills me that I hurt you this way
The worst part is that I didn't even know
Now there's a million reasons for you to go
But if you can find a reason to stay
I'll do whatever it takes
To turn this around
I know what's at stake
I know that I've let you down
And if you give me a chance
Believe that I can change
I'll keep us together whatever it takes
She said "If we're gonna make this work
You gotta let me inside even though it hurts
Don't hide the broken parts that I need to see"
She said "Like it or not it's the way it's gotta be
You gotta love yourself if you can ever love me"
I'll do whatever it takes
To turn this around
I know what's at stake
I know that I've let you down
And if you give me a chance
And give me a break
I'll keep us together, I know you deserve much better
But remember the time I told you the way that I felt
That I'd be lost without you and never find myself
Let's hold onto each other above everything else
Start over, start over
I'll do whatever it takes
To turn this around
I know what's at stake
I know I've let you down
And if you give me a chance
and believe that I can change
I'll keep us together whatever it takes
A strangled smile fell from your face
It kills me that I hurt you this way
The worst part is that I didn't even know
Now there's a million reasons for you to go
But if you can find a reason to stay
I'll do whatever it takes
To turn this around
I know what's at stake
I know that I've let you down
And if you give me a chance
Believe that I can change
I'll keep us together whatever it takes
She said "If we're gonna make this work
You gotta let me inside even though it hurts
Don't hide the broken parts that I need to see"
She said "Like it or not it's the way it's gotta be
You gotta love yourself if you can ever love me"
I'll do whatever it takes
To turn this around
I know what's at stake
I know that I've let you down
And if you give me a chance
And give me a break
I'll keep us together, I know you deserve much better
But remember the time I told you the way that I felt
That I'd be lost without you and never find myself
Let's hold onto each other above everything else
Start over, start over
I'll do whatever it takes
To turn this around
I know what's at stake
I know I've let you down
And if you give me a chance
and believe that I can change
I'll keep us together whatever it takes
November 2, 2009
what's up!
Is been so long since I blog...
Well,nothing much though...I am bored as usual.
woo hoo...Lifehouse-broken is nice....
Well,nothing much though...I am bored as usual.
woo hoo...Lifehouse-broken is nice....
October 24, 2009
Great People :
Went gurney today,and I had fun.Thanks to elspeth and friends.
Apparently a lot of people been searching for me for a long time,everybody been looking for me and thought that I was lost while kept wondering where's emily.A lot of people was really surprised to see me and felt that they have found a long lost friend.Haha...Now i only know I was famous once.Not a good thing though,wanna keep my self a low profile better.Now,at least they know I'm still alive...Great.
Took a lot of pictures with them because they was so excited to see me.Make me felt really touched.And my presence were so important to them....Great people.
I know I had been missing for a long time due to some problems,I am sorry.
I did this for the sake of love.
Anyway,i'm glad to spend half of my day with you guys.=D
Watched movie and chit chatting around is enough to make my day to forget him.
I will move on and I will take everyone's advices from now.
Goodnight World!
Apparently a lot of people been searching for me for a long time,everybody been looking for me and thought that I was lost while kept wondering where's emily.A lot of people was really surprised to see me and felt that they have found a long lost friend.Haha...Now i only know I was famous once.Not a good thing though,wanna keep my self a low profile better.Now,at least they know I'm still alive...Great.
Took a lot of pictures with them because they was so excited to see me.Make me felt really touched.And my presence were so important to them....Great people.
I know I had been missing for a long time due to some problems,I am sorry.
I did this for the sake of love.
Anyway,i'm glad to spend half of my day with you guys.=D
Watched movie and chit chatting around is enough to make my day to forget him.
I will move on and I will take everyone's advices from now.
Goodnight World!
October 23, 2009
Semester break 2009
Will be going to check out for french lesson tomorrow morning...
Dad wants me to pick up languages like German,Japanese or french.And I've made my choice which is French.
Perhaps going for the trial classes.
Hmm... hope is interesting,because I am interested in learning languages...Well so here I come.
Hehe...Dad said he will sponsor me.Because he dislike me doing nothing and waste time when i am having a long sem break.
Oh ya,another thing...I have been procrastinating my undang computer test till now because I dont seem to lulus by practicing myself in the computer,but now I am improving and I got 80 and above which means Lulus.
Well,I need to call up to book for my test and transportation myself.Shouldnt have procrastinate it!
I don't feel like going gurney tomorrow with els but I have no idea how to tell her.=/
My mobile number havent been told to anyone else accept Mum and him.
Haha...Just now one random number called :I thought it was him...But when I saw the number,it wasnt him la.Never dare to answer cause I don't know the number,perhaps he or she might called the wrong number.But hello!My number is a new number!Lol.
Ok la,I can't wait to learn french...I am like so new!
Well will be going to
Check it out:www.pg.alliancefrancaise.org.my
Signing out!Adios~ =D
Dad wants me to pick up languages like German,Japanese or french.And I've made my choice which is French.
Perhaps going for the trial classes.
Hmm... hope is interesting,because I am interested in learning languages...Well so here I come.
Hehe...Dad said he will sponsor me.Because he dislike me doing nothing and waste time when i am having a long sem break.
Oh ya,another thing...I have been procrastinating my undang computer test till now because I dont seem to lulus by practicing myself in the computer,but now I am improving and I got 80 and above which means Lulus.
Well,I need to call up to book for my test and transportation myself.Shouldnt have procrastinate it!
I don't feel like going gurney tomorrow with els but I have no idea how to tell her.=/
My mobile number havent been told to anyone else accept Mum and him.
Haha...Just now one random number called :I thought it was him...But when I saw the number,it wasnt him la.Never dare to answer cause I don't know the number,perhaps he or she might called the wrong number.But hello!My number is a new number!Lol.
Ok la,I can't wait to learn french...I am like so new!
Well will be going to
Alliance Francaise De Penang tomorrow!
Check it out:www.pg.alliancefrancaise.org.my
Signing out!Adios~ =D
October 20, 2009
Breast Cancer month
Hallmark channel is always about life!
Loving it.
Especially the song they usually play it on Tv during advertisement:
hey baby don't forget
live a life with no regrets
you know you got to love this life
love your life
how can you be blue
when the world awaits for you
loving your life
life life life is beautiful
love your life
Until now I still haven't get a new mobile number myself.
Promised elspeth to get a new one by today,she kept bug me to get a new number so that can sms eachother...
But honestly,I hate sms-ing.Lol
Anyway,going Kulim this friday cause my aunt won 30thousand for 4 digit numbers.
So she is gonna treat us eat.Wonder how much she will give me,sighs...felt bad oso la,never even visit her.:(
__________________________________________________________________
All the songs you used to share and listen reminds me of you,i will continue loving you,doesn't matter how long is it going to be.
Sighs...I know talk is cheap...but I mean it myself.
Every night I see our pictures we took,and I could only give a kiss on your face on my phone screen. How insane!
And my eyes will look very weird every time when i woke up from my sleep.
Feels like I have always known you
And I swear I dreamt about you
All those endless nights I was alone
It's like I've spent forever searching
Now I know that it was worth it
With you it feels like I am finally home
Falling head over heels
Thought I knew how it feels
But with you it's like the first day of my life
Cuz you leave me speechless
When you talk to me
You leave me breathless
The way you look at me
You manage to disarm me
My soul is shining through
Can't help but surrender
My everything to you
I thought I could resist you
I thought that I was strong
Somehow you were different from what I've known
I didn't see you coming
You took me by surprise and
You stole my heart before I could say no
Falling head over heels
Thought I knew how it feels
But with you it's like the first day of my life
You leave me speechless
When you talk to me
You leave me breathless
The way you look at me
You manage to disarm me
My soul is shining through
I can't help but surrender
Oh no
My everything to you
You leave me speechless
(the way you smile, the way you touch my face)
You leave me breathless
(it's something that you do I can't explain)
I run a million miles just to hear you say my name
Baby
You leave me speechless
You leave me breathless
The way you look at me
You manage to disarm me
My soul is shining through
I can't help but surrender
My everything to you
Loving it.
Especially the song they usually play it on Tv during advertisement:
hey baby don't forget
live a life with no regrets
you know you got to love this life
love your life
how can you be blue
when the world awaits for you
loving your life
life life life is beautiful
love your life
Until now I still haven't get a new mobile number myself.
Promised elspeth to get a new one by today,she kept bug me to get a new number so that can sms eachother...
But honestly,I hate sms-ing.Lol
Anyway,going Kulim this friday cause my aunt won 30thousand for 4 digit numbers.
So she is gonna treat us eat.Wonder how much she will give me,sighs...felt bad oso la,never even visit her.:(
__________________________________________________________________
All the songs you used to share and listen reminds me of you,i will continue loving you,doesn't matter how long is it going to be.
Sighs...I know talk is cheap...but I mean it myself.
Every night I see our pictures we took,and I could only give a kiss on your face on my phone screen. How insane!
And my eyes will look very weird every time when i woke up from my sleep.
Feels like I have always known you
And I swear I dreamt about you
All those endless nights I was alone
It's like I've spent forever searching
Now I know that it was worth it
With you it feels like I am finally home
Falling head over heels
Thought I knew how it feels
But with you it's like the first day of my life
Cuz you leave me speechless
When you talk to me
You leave me breathless
The way you look at me
You manage to disarm me
My soul is shining through
Can't help but surrender
My everything to you
I thought I could resist you
I thought that I was strong
Somehow you were different from what I've known
I didn't see you coming
You took me by surprise and
You stole my heart before I could say no
Falling head over heels
Thought I knew how it feels
But with you it's like the first day of my life
You leave me speechless
When you talk to me
You leave me breathless
The way you look at me
You manage to disarm me
My soul is shining through
I can't help but surrender
Oh no
My everything to you
You leave me speechless
(the way you smile, the way you touch my face)
You leave me breathless
(it's something that you do I can't explain)
I run a million miles just to hear you say my name
Baby
You leave me speechless
You leave me breathless
The way you look at me
You manage to disarm me
My soul is shining through
I can't help but surrender
My everything to you
Still I cry silently
I learned to cry silently as a child
I was taught my feelings were something to hide
My thoughts seemed to matter as much as I
And if someone said different they were telling a lie
I was taught to hide myself behind my smile
Constantly I was reminded I wasn't worth while
Yet my shame loomed over me as I lived within my skin
I find myself now wondering just who really did win
I carry with me all my tortures and guilt
Praying to God each day that this torture does quit
My uncertainty now is the life that I lead
Expecting to much, trying to fill that need
Wanting so badly to be accepted and loved
Yet wanting to be free, as free as a dove
The dove represents purity of which I have none
I feel alone in this world, there is no one
Still I cry silently just like that child
My feelings still don't matter and from them I still hide
I bury them deeper and deeper than before
I can not bring myself to open that door
Not really certain of what I will find
This life is my prison; I can not hide
The reminders are constant with each glimpse of myself
Just wanting to run and hide from myself
Yet the guilt and the shame, they follow me
Clouding my thoughts; almost blinding me
Pain and loss are familiar to me
Breaking my heart while laughing at me
Time seems to pass and the torture prevails
No laughter, just sadness with a veil of tears
Loneliness overshadows these thoughts at times
But soon am reminded of my past crimes
Still I sit crying just like that little girl
Finding myself lost in my own little world
Is there anyone at all who can see through this pain?
Will there ever be life in these eyes again?
I oftentimes wonder why this happened to me
And then I realize, it was meant to be
If things had been different, would I be the same?
Would my life be filled with this torture and shame?
I still try to run and hide from my past
But it always finds me; I can't run that fast
The child inside me just wants to live
But the person I am has not learned to forgive
Its a process they tell me and that it is slow
I want to be whole, I just want to grow
I want to know love and to give it back
I want to know feelings; I'm tired of this black
I was taught my feelings were something to hide
My thoughts seemed to matter as much as I
And if someone said different they were telling a lie
I was taught to hide myself behind my smile
Constantly I was reminded I wasn't worth while
Yet my shame loomed over me as I lived within my skin
I find myself now wondering just who really did win
I carry with me all my tortures and guilt
Praying to God each day that this torture does quit
My uncertainty now is the life that I lead
Expecting to much, trying to fill that need
Wanting so badly to be accepted and loved
Yet wanting to be free, as free as a dove
The dove represents purity of which I have none
I feel alone in this world, there is no one
Still I cry silently just like that child
My feelings still don't matter and from them I still hide
I bury them deeper and deeper than before
I can not bring myself to open that door
Not really certain of what I will find
This life is my prison; I can not hide
The reminders are constant with each glimpse of myself
Just wanting to run and hide from myself
Yet the guilt and the shame, they follow me
Clouding my thoughts; almost blinding me
Pain and loss are familiar to me
Breaking my heart while laughing at me
Time seems to pass and the torture prevails
No laughter, just sadness with a veil of tears
Loneliness overshadows these thoughts at times
But soon am reminded of my past crimes
Still I sit crying just like that little girl
Finding myself lost in my own little world
Is there anyone at all who can see through this pain?
Will there ever be life in these eyes again?
I oftentimes wonder why this happened to me
And then I realize, it was meant to be
If things had been different, would I be the same?
Would my life be filled with this torture and shame?
I still try to run and hide from my past
But it always finds me; I can't run that fast
The child inside me just wants to live
But the person I am has not learned to forgive
Its a process they tell me and that it is slow
I want to be whole, I just want to grow
I want to know love and to give it back
I want to know feelings; I'm tired of this black
October 10, 2009
Emotional thoughts ;
Can someone save me?
I'm really dying over him.
I know nothing's gonna change...
But this feeling is hurting me each time.
I broke down a lot a lot of time.
I can feel my heart is breaking each day.
Trying to act strong ,but i know I'm weak at times.
I pity myself to get hurt so badly,
My tears are falling each sentence I'm expressing.
My emotional thoughts are killing me in pain.
This pain will never erase ,will never vanish away...
This feeling makes me wanna die,
I wish i could just die,and stop living.
But i know is not worth it,not worth it at all.
I got to be rational over committing suicide...
I've becoming this ugly ,
but all i want to do,
is be more like me and be less like you.
I told my self not to call him anymore,but still i insist.
The more i call him the more i wish to talk to him,
I will be even more painful.
Because the treatment from him was not nice at all...
I'm just being hurt each day,i felt that my heart is wounded badly.
I just had to cry out loud silently in my room when there's no one around me...
I can't control this feeling anymore,i cannot bare with it any longer.
God,please help me...I really had enough.
I'm so sick with this love life...
And i shall cry my self to sleep again and again...
I got to stop this,not to call him to hurt my self again.
I'm weak enough...
It felt like this huge prison of sadness,and i knew that death would set me free.
Goodnight Emily.
I'm really dying over him.
I know nothing's gonna change...
But this feeling is hurting me each time.
I broke down a lot a lot of time.
I can feel my heart is breaking each day.
Trying to act strong ,but i know I'm weak at times.
I pity myself to get hurt so badly,
My tears are falling each sentence I'm expressing.
My emotional thoughts are killing me in pain.
This pain will never erase ,will never vanish away...
This feeling makes me wanna die,
I wish i could just die,and stop living.
But i know is not worth it,not worth it at all.
I got to be rational over committing suicide...
I've becoming this ugly ,
but all i want to do,
is be more like me and be less like you.
I told my self not to call him anymore,but still i insist.
The more i call him the more i wish to talk to him,
I will be even more painful.
Because the treatment from him was not nice at all...
I'm just being hurt each day,i felt that my heart is wounded badly.
I just had to cry out loud silently in my room when there's no one around me...
I can't control this feeling anymore,i cannot bare with it any longer.
God,please help me...I really had enough.
I'm so sick with this love life...
And i shall cry my self to sleep again and again...
I got to stop this,not to call him to hurt my self again.
I'm weak enough...
It felt like this huge prison of sadness,and i knew that death would set me free.
Goodnight Emily.
October 9, 2009
Back
Finished my housework around 4 something then
straight away watch singapore series...
ahaha...
Now everything is clean...
After the singapore series ended went to do my own fake medicure with fake nails.
I did 2 of my toe nails too...
HAHAHA...
then watch TV since 6pm until now...Great!
Well,let me show you my nails :
My toe nails:
Nice or not?But is a bit uncomfortable...cause is long...
Wish I can have a real medicure and pedicure.
:)
Anyway,i won't be jogging tomorrow,dad told me he is tired cause he is out the whole day today...
Will jog only the next day which is Sunday.
Heh...
By the way,the song RETURN TO ME is nice,cause i wish to dedicate this song to my love.
Here's the lyrics:
I know my voice is silence to your ears
I know I said some things you didn't deserve to hear
I miss you, God I miss you, why do I miss you?
I lie awake at night kicking at the sheets
No matter how much I try they never cover my feet
I need you, God I need you, why do I?
I finally gathered up the strength
To get through my days
[Chorus]
You lift me up
(Just to let me down)
You lift me up
(Just to let me down)
You call me on the phone to try to see if I'm at home
You play with my emotions; give me some kind of hope
I miss you, God I miss you, why do I?
I finally gathered up the strength
To get through these lonely, lonely nights
[Chorus]
You've got me desperate and confused
And my confidence is thrown
I'd rather be miserable with you
Than ever be alone
You're free, of me
You lift me up
(Just to let me down)
I will change the way I talk
I will change the way I feel
I will change the way I walk
Until nothing left is real
I will change the way I call your name
I will change the way I eat
I will change the way I touch you
When you're lying there asleep
Because I miss you
God I miss you, I miss you
Return to me
Return to me
I will change everything.
Goodnight!
October 8, 2009
6:41am
Good Morning people,I'm awake for a jog.
now waiting for dad...
Lol...
__________________
Came back at 730am...
So frigging tired!
Like very very tired!
Dad and I jogged until G hotel only...
Haha...
We sat there and talk,told dad about the sunset.At the same time,dad asked me to massage for him...Lmao...and i did lo...What a great daughter...=D
But i did not see the sunset.
Hmm...i can't believe my dad can jog better than me...
I'm so weak...
Now,i know why woman hates to be fat,
Because is so hard to burn your fats...
Exercising is so hard and stressful,my stomach was painful while jogging.
I sweat like hell...
I just have to stopped half way jogging back but dad wasn't...I go wow,and i wanted to challenge him..But obviously i cant la...
Half way jogging back,we fed pigeon with an old uncle...Nicee....
Once i got home,I quickly switched on the air-cond in my room and sat on the floor.
Felt like vomiting...Damn it!
Then make myself a cup of hot milo and rest.
After one hour go bath and sleep again until 11 am...HAHAHAH...
Now,dad is out and asked me to clean the house...
But i'm going to bath my baby first then only vacuum and mop the floor...
Clean the house is also one of the way of burning fats kay...
And i hate my super fat face like so much...
I'm not gonna have lunch already...
So till here from now,will be back when I'm done with my housework...
XD
now waiting for dad...
Lol...
__________________
Came back at 730am...
So frigging tired!
Like very very tired!
Dad and I jogged until G hotel only...
Haha...
We sat there and talk,told dad about the sunset.At the same time,dad asked me to massage for him...Lmao...and i did lo...What a great daughter...=D
But i did not see the sunset.
Hmm...i can't believe my dad can jog better than me...
I'm so weak...
Now,i know why woman hates to be fat,
Because is so hard to burn your fats...
Exercising is so hard and stressful,my stomach was painful while jogging.
I sweat like hell...
I just have to stopped half way jogging back but dad wasn't...I go wow,and i wanted to challenge him..But obviously i cant la...
Half way jogging back,we fed pigeon with an old uncle...Nicee....
Once i got home,I quickly switched on the air-cond in my room and sat on the floor.
Felt like vomiting...Damn it!
Then make myself a cup of hot milo and rest.
After one hour go bath and sleep again until 11 am...HAHAHAH...
Now,dad is out and asked me to clean the house...
But i'm going to bath my baby first then only vacuum and mop the floor...
Clean the house is also one of the way of burning fats kay...
And i hate my super fat face like so much...
I'm not gonna have lunch already...
So till here from now,will be back when I'm done with my housework...
XD
Today ;
Been home the whole day...
LOL!
Been spending my whole day watching xiaxue's (wendy) videos...
I love her entertaining me la...
I watched almost all her video you know!
Xiaxue(wendy) is really really good...I love the way she speaks...
Well,
now i know what to do when I'm bored.
xD
I still wanna follow up her videos...
I'm gonna like sleep now you know...early right?
I feels like today is Friday or saturday...
So relax and nice...
But sighs,at the same time missing him as usual...
Well tomorrow i wanna JOG!I mean it!
Wanna wake up as early like half past 6...so that i can see sunset in gurney drive...
hah..
reminds me of my love told me about the sunset was very nice.Sighs...
we even planned to watch it together...But now...is just have to come to an end.
Anyway,
I love the song from the last goodnight...
The Last Goodnight - Poison Kiss lyrics
The Last Goodnight - Back Where We Belong lyrics
The Last Goodnight - Pictures Of You lyrics
The Last Goodnight - Stay Beautiful lyrics
The Last Goodnight - This Is The Sound lyrics
The Last Goodnight - One Trust lyrics
The Last Goodnight - Return To Me lyrics
The Last Goodnight - Good Love lyrics
The Last Goodnight - If I Talk To God lyrics
The Last Goodnight - Push Me Away lyrics
The Last Goodnight - In Your Arms lyrics
The Last Goodnight - Incomplete lyrics
Check it out...
My favorites are in red!
Pictures of you :
Return to me:
One trust :
Good love :
LOL!
Been spending my whole day watching xiaxue's (wendy) videos...
I love her entertaining me la...
I watched almost all her video you know!
Xiaxue(wendy) is really really good...I love the way she speaks...
Well,
now i know what to do when I'm bored.
xD
I still wanna follow up her videos...
I'm gonna like sleep now you know...early right?
I feels like today is Friday or saturday...
So relax and nice...
But sighs,at the same time missing him as usual...
Well tomorrow i wanna JOG!I mean it!
Wanna wake up as early like half past 6...so that i can see sunset in gurney drive...
hah..
reminds me of my love told me about the sunset was very nice.Sighs...
we even planned to watch it together...But now...is just have to come to an end.
Anyway,
I love the song from the last goodnight...
The Last Goodnight - Poison Kiss lyrics
The Last Goodnight - Back Where We Belong lyrics
The Last Goodnight - Pictures Of You lyrics
The Last Goodnight - Stay Beautiful lyrics
The Last Goodnight - This Is The Sound lyrics
The Last Goodnight - One Trust lyrics
The Last Goodnight - Return To Me lyrics
The Last Goodnight - Good Love lyrics
The Last Goodnight - If I Talk To God lyrics
The Last Goodnight - Push Me Away lyrics
The Last Goodnight - In Your Arms lyrics
The Last Goodnight - Incomplete lyrics
Check it out...
My favorites are in red!
Pictures of you :
Return to me:
One trust :
Good love :
October 7, 2009
No jogging :(
I miss my jogging as i said I'm going to jog by today...
But I did not make it...
Was very sleepy because of sleeping late last night...
FML...
Then now the weather is cooling...
Lol...
Dad says : Jogging wor!
Emily says: It was raining ok...hehe...
Actually it wasn't raining early in the morning...
I'm just being lazy to wake up...
Well, nevermind...
Today can't make it still got tomorrow...XD
Anyway,Dad wanted to go for a movie today...
I shall see how...=)
But I did not make it...
Was very sleepy because of sleeping late last night...
FML...
Then now the weather is cooling...
Lol...
Dad says : Jogging wor!
Emily says: It was raining ok...hehe...
Actually it wasn't raining early in the morning...
I'm just being lazy to wake up...
Well, nevermind...
Today can't make it still got tomorrow...XD
Anyway,Dad wanted to go for a movie today...
I shall see how...=)
I Love you...
I think of you day and night,
reminiscing about the past we had,I just can't help it.
You were the one for me all this while,
and I'm used to your love.
Before I sleep I will be looking through our pictures we took together,
I treasure it all night long with my tears falling.
It was a sleepless night after losing you.
Although how tired i am,I just never give up being aware of you.
I am loving you but i had to lose you
tears keep falling down
I am finally trying to make a break through
but the thing is that i still don't know how
it must be your love that I have in my heart
that keeps me going
you still loved me and now i keep showing
my love for you
even though
I had to lose you but I am still loving you
everyday every waking hour
I have you in my mind
i just got to go through this life without you.
I've been missing you for a long time,
but i know you're not coming back to me anymore.
I miss your presence,your voice and your love.
I wish somehow,someday I could have you back here by my side.
Is been hurting me so badly,
that I don't even know what I'm actually living for without you.
You left me wondering around
No longer do I feel safe and sound
Stumbling on our pictures
Cant keep in all of this hurt
I loved you so damn much
That now I cry for your touch
That no longer comes my way
No matter how much I beg and pray
Into my bed I crawl alone
Just to see myself left alone
It was a week ago since you said goodbye
But your presence still lingers here with me
It fills my body with such distress
Turning me into a total mess
I hold my broken heart in my hand
Trying to keep it together the best I can
But no matter how much glue I use
I still cry and feel sad
For in this prison called my room
I keep memories of me and you
They haunt me every second of the day
I just wish this pain would go away
I could only treasure the
pictures of you holding me
for a memory of what we used to be
and
I love you,no matter what life takes us through.
I wish you know:
''If loving you is still a possibility
reminiscing about the past we had,I just can't help it.
You were the one for me all this while,
and I'm used to your love.
Before I sleep I will be looking through our pictures we took together,
I treasure it all night long with my tears falling.
It was a sleepless night after losing you.
Although how tired i am,I just never give up being aware of you.
You're all I need.
26/09/2009
I am loving you but i had to lose you
tears keep falling down
I am finally trying to make a break through
but the thing is that i still don't know how
it must be your love that I have in my heart
that keeps me going
you still loved me and now i keep showing
my love for you
even though
I had to lose you but I am still loving you
everyday every waking hour
I have you in my mind
i just got to go through this life without you.
30/09/09
I've been missing you for a long time,
but i know you're not coming back to me anymore.
I miss your presence,your voice and your love.
I wish somehow,someday I could have you back here by my side.
Is been hurting me so badly,
that I don't even know what I'm actually living for without you.
2/10/09
You left me wondering around
No longer do I feel safe and sound
Stumbling on our pictures
Cant keep in all of this hurt
I loved you so damn much
That now I cry for your touch
That no longer comes my way
No matter how much I beg and pray
Into my bed I crawl alone
Just to see myself left alone
It was a week ago since you said goodbye
But your presence still lingers here with me
It fills my body with such distress
Turning me into a total mess
I hold my broken heart in my hand
Trying to keep it together the best I can
But no matter how much glue I use
I still cry and feel sad
For in this prison called my room
I keep memories of me and you
They haunt me every second of the day
I just wish this pain would go away
I could only treasure the
pictures of you holding me
for a memory of what we used to be
and
I love you,no matter what life takes us through.
07/10/09
I wish you know:
''If loving you is still a possibility
When you return I'll be there for you
Cause in my heart I'll always love you.''
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