lifeeeee oh lifeee

Time passes by fast, and now what? I'm graduating from my diploma after 2 and a half years. I'm in a dilemma here , and not sure what to do. Whether to continue for my degree or start working. But it's not easy to find a job these days, and i might face financial problems for my degree! Even I get the chance to use PTPTN loan, it will be a huge amount of money for me to pay up in the future.I'm rather confused... *sigh* I wonder what more I can do.Time goes too fast for me... VERY FAST! I'm not ready.

Now you see, if i start working, I will definitely face transportation problems. I don't have my own car. I do not know whether to look for a job in penang or KL. If it is penang, I will face difficulties in getting to my workplace.If is KL, it might be even worse. Oh gosh! It's getting on my nerves. MY future! FUTURE! One question: HOW?

I gotta figure it out myself.

How I wish that I'm as rich as others. They are able to pursue their own interests and desires.

But unfortunately, I need to work it out myself. And stand up, to earn my own Money.

Everything is MONEY now, I just need MONEY!

First I need to write a proper resume, and get myself into an interview. But, nothing's easy.

A diploma holder = NOTHING. come on, there are better people than me . I don't even know what are my strenghts. All I can see is my weaknesses. Oh fine, I shouldn't a pessimist. Have you ever heard of a pessimist complains about the wind, and the optimist expects it to change. ahh well...
I have low self esteem.. I have no confidence. Thats very sad indeed.

I just need to work it out.

There's one thing i dislike about my college is, they do not offer internships for the students, but other colleges does. That's really unfair. I would love to adapt to working life, but i don't even have the opportunity to learn. I just want to start looking for internships and see how it goes.

It's okay...
Seriously, I need to do something!
I'm having my exams on the 4th oct and after that it's time to say bye bye to my college!
Isn't that too fast... :(

I just need to get some rest now, till the next morning.

Remember the day ;

We've lost the love that we shared
We can't speak we just stare
I'm afraid to look you in the eyes

So have we claimed the last life tonight?
We loved we lost we died you and I
All around us an emptiness fills this room
I'll remember the day something changed within you
Soon we'll chant
Our love ends

We've lost the love that we shared
We can't speak we just stare
And I'm afraid how much you changed tonight
We've lost the love that we shared
We can't speak we just stare
I'm afraid to look you in the eyes

Don't look at me if it has to be this way
Soon we'll change and the bitterness fades away
We'll be wondering just what the hell happened here
I'll be happy but just now I'm gripped with fear
Soon we'll chant
Our love ends
Soon we'll chant
Our love ends

We've lost the love that we shared
We can't speak we just stare
And I'm afraid how much you changed tonight
We've lost the love that we shared
We can't speak we just stare
I'm afraid to look you in the eyes

I'm breathing but not alive

We've lost the love that we shared
We can't speak we just stare
And I'm afraid how much you changed tonight
We've lost the love that we shared
We can't speak we just stare
I'm afraid to look you in the eyes

I'm breathing
But I'm not alive
It's just a matter of time
It's just a matter of time

Cry -Rihanna

No dinner for today and ...and I'm currently feeling emotional.

I don't wanna fight no more

I can't sleep,
everything i ever knew,
Is a lie,
without you,

I can't breathe,
when my heart is broke in two,
There's no beat,
without you,

You're not gone,
but you're not here,
At least that's the way it seems tonight,
If we could try to end these wars,
I know that we can make it right,
cause baby,

I don't wanna fight no more,
I forgot what we were fighting for,
and this lonelyness that's in my heart,
won't let me be apart from you,

I don't wanna have to try,
Girl, to live without you in my life,
So, i'm hoping we can start tonight,
cause i don't wanna fight,
no more,

How can I leave,
when everything that I adore,
and everything I'm living for,
Girl, it's in you,

I can't dream,
sleepless nights have got me bad,
The only dream i ever had,
is being with you,

I know that we can make it right,
It's gonna take a little time,
Lets not leave ourselves with no way out,
lets not cross that line,(that line)

I don't wanna fight no more,
I forgot what we were fighting for,
and this lonelyness that's in my heart,
won't let me be apart from you,

I don't wanna have to try,
Girl, to live without you in my life,
So, i'm hoping we can start tonight,
cause i don't wanna fight,
no more,

Remember that i made a vow,
that i would never let you go,
I meant it then, I mean it now,
and i want to tell you so,

I don't wanna fight no more, (oh no)
I forgot what we were fighting for,
and this lonelyness that's in my heart,
won't let me be apart from you,

I don't wanna have to try,
Girl, to live without you in my life,
So, i'm hoping we can start tonight,
(can we start)
cause i don't wanna fight,
no more...

I don't wanna fight no more,
I forgot what we were fighting for, (oh yeah)
and this lonelyness that's in my heart,
(my heart)
won't let me be apart from you,

I don't wanna have to try,
Girl, to live without you in my life,
So, i'm hoping we can start tonight,
(I'm hoping)
cause i don't wanna fight,
no more.......

It's all a lie,
Without you,
without you......