As Life Flows ;

lifeeeee oh lifeee

2011-09-29T08:45:00.000-07:00

Time passes by fast, and now what? I'm graduating from my diploma after 2 and a half years. I'm in a dilemma here , and not sure what to do. Whether to continue for my degree or start working. But it's not easy to find a job these days, and i might face financial problems for my degree! Even I get the chance to use PTPTN loan, it will be a huge amount of money for me to pay up in the future.I'm rather confused... *sigh* I wonder what more I can do.Time goes too fast for me... VERY FAST! I'm not ready.

Now you see, if i start working, I will definitely face transportation problems. I don't have my own car. I do not know whether to look for a job in penang or KL. If it is penang, I will face difficulties in getting to my workplace.If is KL, it might be even worse. Oh gosh! It's getting on my nerves. MY future! FUTURE! One question: HOW?

I gotta figure it out myself.

How I wish that I'm as rich as others. They are able to pursue their own interests and desires.

But unfortunately, I need to work it out myself. And stand up, to earn my own Money.

Everything is MONEY now, I just need MONEY!

First I need to write a proper resume, and get myself into an interview. But, nothing's easy.

A diploma holder = NOTHING. come on, there are better people than me . I don't even know what are my strenghts. All I can see is my weaknesses. Oh fine, I shouldn't a pessimist. Have you ever heard of a pessimist complains about the wind, and the optimist expects it to change. ahh well...
I have low self esteem.. I have no confidence. Thats very sad indeed.

I just need to work it out.

There's one thing i dislike about my college is, they do not offer internships for the students, but other colleges does. That's really unfair. I would love to adapt to working life, but i don't even have the opportunity to learn. I just want to start looking for internships and see how it goes.

It's okay...
Seriously, I need to do something!
I'm having my exams on the 4th oct and after that it's time to say bye bye to my college!
Isn't that too fast... :(

I just need to get some rest now, till the next morning.

:)

2011-04-21T05:47:00.000-07:00

Isn't it funny how you can think you're completely over someone but if you drive past his house, stumble upon a meaningful song you both shared, or even get a glance of him on the street....just in an instant, it can change all that.? And you start to remember the pain. And that hollow space is feeling more and more like the Grand Canyon with every second that goes by. But you bury these feelings deep down, so deep that you're sure no one will be able to tell. To the outside world, you smile and act like nothing is wrong or will ever be. Everything's just perfect. For that split second that you've locked eyes, a tiny whisper, say 'make this last forever, only and just this moment forever and ever'. But after a second or so, you go along your own merry way, all the while home realizing how much you do miss him, how much you still love him...and it sticks with you for days, weeks, maybe months, until fate decides to hand you another one of those unexpected moments. And then you finally understand the worst feeling in the world is when the person you love most is standing right next to you, yet you can never have them. Try as you may, you can't make someone love you."

beautifully broken me

2011-04-19T10:43:00.000-07:00

"Everyone says for me to just give up and get over you, but it's not that easy to give something so special like you up. I feel something they don't. I only have this life, if loving you makes me happy, then that's what I'm going to do, even if I'll have to wait a while to hold you again."

2011-03-15T11:24:00.001-07:00

A guy who makes you laugh, cooks good food, plays the piano or the guitar, loves you like his first and last one, dresses decently and isn't obsessed with himself. One in a million. :(

Let me be strong:

2011-01-21T05:42:00.000-08:00

Let me be stronger in life's trials, let me embrace change in my life.
Give me strength to overcome sadness and pain.
Guide me down my path, where happiness and joy abound.
Alight my world with knowledge and understanding.

Help me to understand myself as well as those around me.
Give me insight to my personal faults, that I may change them.
Allow me the understanding I need to carry me through life.
Strengthen my mind, in all that I need to better understand.

The world is huge, and I am but a speck in it.
Let me be a light to others that I may help along the way.
Encourage me that I may shine for you, and others.
Words hold great power, May I never say any thing hurtful to others.

Give me the strength I need to grow and mature in this world.
Let others always see me for who I am and not who they want me to be.
Allow others to accept me as I am, and not try to mold me into someone else.
Let me be a stronger person than I am, and be true to myself.

By jamie hargis

Let me be :

2011-01-21T05:21:00.000-08:00

Some days, I may be wrong
But that doesn't mean that I have been, all along
So please just let me be
Let me be strong
Some days, I may be weak
But that doesn't mean that I still can't speak
I'll make it out
I'll make it out all right
Some days, I may be lost
But that doesn't mean that I should suffer a cost
For I'm still going
I'm still going strong
Some days, I may be a stranger
But that doesn't mean that I will cause danger
Just let me be
Let me be me
Yes.
Some days, I may be wrong
But that doesn't mean that I have been, all along
So please let me be
Let me be strong

By Kaye Boss

random friday

2010-10-01T06:47:00.000-07:00

Final exams is on monday...

My dad is on facebook :)

I miss my friends.

Angela,Elspeth,Sarah.

I'm having Green Pea Snack now.

Can't wait for 13th october.

Finance is so boring...

I hate calculations,formulas.

Random:

We were so close once,now its like were strangers

Famous Sayings:

2010-08-17T08:18:00.000-07:00

What you do not wish for yourself do not do to others

Mika-Happy ending Official video

2010-06-10T23:31:00.001-07:00

New camera!:)

2010-04-23T23:33:00.001-07:00

As you know, I dropped my camera a few weeks ago and it spoiled.Actually is not my fault for dropping my camera so hard.It was because of my friend ,she was drunk and she accidentally dropped it.So it spoiled.And I told my dad about it,he tried his best to fix it for me by taking out every pieces from the camera.Lol.Guess what,he broke something inside and decided to give up.Eventually,my dad threw it away.After that,he ordered a new one for me and let me choose which one i want.So I've chosen,the most affordable camera which is the Nikon Coolpix S230.:)
It was a surprise,cause I thought I will be getting this camera after one week later.
And i actually got it today while dad woke me up by telling me the camera has arrived.haha...
My dad,ordered it since 2 days ago i think,i cant remember,but it was just too fast.xD
Felt so lucky to have a new one after the old one spoiled a few weeks ago.
Ahh well,this time I will be more careful to take good care of this one.

Experimenting with my new camera:

This camera,is very cool.The screen is wide and is touch screen!:)
Taking pictures of dolly:

Haha!Thats her favorite treats,she is tempted by JERHIGH!

And I said:Dolly,sit!

I'm not satisfied with the way she sit:So i told her to sit again.HAHA.She is willing to do anything for Jerhigh!
Haha.I'm bullying her.Can you see that?Awwhhh...Look at that pity face below:
Well,she should be thankful right now:)

Next will be: DOLLY,FETCH!

Bad news:
After calling the vet,the doctor said he's unsure whether dolly can take the operation or not due to her age,at the same time for not doing the operation may result in relapse.And this will worsen the whole situation.As a stronger antibiotic will be require.
Now,I'm in dilemma.Sighh...I don't want dolly to die because of this operation.Should we just forget about this operation.:(

WOO HOOOO is Lady gaga

2010-03-16T22:20:00.001-07:00

Lady Gaga - Telephone ft. Beyoncé

Lady Gaga - Paparazzi

Hmmm...

2010-02-06T06:57:00.000-08:00

Been wondering who always drop by to my blog from Bukit Mertajam.
Lol.

Anyway, I just found out that someone commented on my previous blog post by using a harsh word to describe me .Hmm...I'm still wondering who is that person.
Ahh well...Let it be.

I wouldn't want my blog to be well known by people.
I don't usually tell people I have a blog.
The only place I Broadcast my blog is on my Facebook info and without a doubt is not obvious at all.

Whoever who wants to comment about my post please think before you do it.
Cause it shows how brainless you are.
And I even saw quite a lot of spammers commenting on my blog post.
Don't know whether should I call it spammers or virus also.
Weird la.
Just stop it anyway,is very annoying ok.

wow

2010-01-19T20:47:00.000-08:00

Is been so long .

Hahaha...

My exams is over,and now I'm back to online for the whole day.

By the way,I got My P licence to drive.

I got so many things to talk about but I am lazy.

At the mean time having chicken rice for lunch.

My dad is back,and i don't have to starve already.

In fact,I'm getting fatter.

Hah...Cant imagine how fat I could be.

Hmm...I am happy with my life this year.

Because of you,Thanks.

:)

I'm updating all the outing pics in facebook.

3 weeks never get to go internet,due to the connection problem and my mid term examination.

Great,now I'm gonna use it until I'm satisfied.

I know is just so random writing all this as an update for my blog.

But is alright...

I will be updating my blog whenever I want to.

And I'm currently in to this song now :

Baby are you down down down down down,
Downnnnnnn, downnnnnnn,
Even if the sky is falling down,
Downnnnn, downnnnn
Ooohhh (ohhh)

(Verse 1)
You oughta know, tonight is the night to let it go,
Put on a show, I wanna see how you lose control,

(Bridge)
So leave it behind cause we, have a night to get away,
So come on and fly with me, as we make our great escape.

(Chorus)
So baby dont worry, you are my only,
You wont be lonely, even if the sky is falling down,
Youll be my only, no need to worry,
Baby are you down down down down down,
Dowwwnnnnn, Dowwnnnnn,
Baby are you down down down down down,
Downnnnn, Downnnnnn,
Even if the sky is falling down,

(Verse 2)
Just let it be, come on and bring your body next to me,
Ill take you away, hey, turn this place into our private getaway,
(Bridge)
So leave it behind cause we, have a night to get away,
So come on and fly with me, as we make our great escape,
(So why dont we run away)

(Chorus)
So baby dont worry, you are my only,
You wont be lonely, even if the sky is falling down,
Youll be my only, no need to worry,
Jay Sean Down lyrics found on http://www.directlyrics.com.com/jay-sean-down-lyrics.html
Baby are you down down down down down,
Dowwwnnnnn, Dowwnnnnn,
Baby are you down down down down down,
Downnnnn, Downnnnnn,
Even if the sky is falling down,

(Verse 3)
Lil Wayne:Even if the sky is falling down like she's supposed to be,
She gets down low for me,
Down like her temperature, cause to me she zero degrees,
She cold, overfreeze,
I got that girl from overseas,
Now she's my miss America,
Now can I be her solger please,
Im fighting for this girl,
On a battlefield of love,
She got me look like baby cupid sending arrows from above,
Dont you ever leave the side of me,
Indefinitely, not probably,
And honestly I'm down like the economy,
Yeahhhhhh

(Chorus)
So baby dont worry, you are my only,
You wont be lonely, even if the sky is falling down,
You'll be my only, no need to worry,
Baby are you down down down down down,
Dowwwnnnnn, Dowwnnnnn,
Baby are you down down down down down,
Downnnnn, Downnnnnn,
Lil Wayne: Ahoo, Ahoo, Ahoo,

Chorus
Even if the sky is falling down,
Downnnnn, Downnnnn,

Repeat to fade...(^^)

Bukan cinta biasa...:D

2009-12-23T03:57:00.000-08:00

Begitu banyak cerita
Atas sebab ada duka
Cinta yang ingin ku tulis
Bukanlah cinta biasa

Dua keyakinan beza
Masaalah pun takkan sama
Ku tak ingin dia ragu
Mengapa mereka selalu bertanya

Cintaku bukan di atas kertas
Cintaku getaran yang sama
Tak perlu di paksa
Tak perlu di cari
Kerna ku yakin ada jawabnya...ohhh

Andai ku bisa merubah semua
Hingga tiada orang terluka
Tapi tak mungkin,
Ku tak berdaya
Hanya yakin menunggu
Jawabnya

Janji terikat setia
Masa mengupas segala
Mungkin dia kan berlalu
Ku tak mahu mereka tertawa

Diriku hanya insan biasa
Miliki naluri yang sama
Tak ingin berpaling
Tak ingin berganti
Jiwa ku sering saja berkata..ohh

Andai ku mampu mengulang semula
Ku pasti tiada yang curiga
Kasih kan hadir
Tiada terduga
Hanya yakin menunggu
Jawapan...

Cintaku bukan di atas kertas
Cintaku getaran yang sama
Tak perlu di paksa
Tak perlu di cari
Kerna ku yakin ada jawabnya...ohhh

Andai ku bisa merubah semua
Hingga tiada orang terluka
Tapi tak mungkin
Ku tak berdaya
Hanya yakin menunggu
Jawabnyaohhh

Diriku hanya insan biasa
Miliki naluri yang sama
Tak ingin berpaling
Tak ingin berganti
Jiwa ku sering saja berkata..ohh

Andai ku mampu pulang semula
Ku pasti tiada yang curiga
Kasih kan hadir
Tiada terduka
Hanya yakin menunggu
Jawapan...

By Siti Nurhaliza.

Nice song

2009-12-20T20:17:00.000-08:00

一路一路一路
从泥泞到风景
为你爬过山顶
为你掉入海里
一遍一遍一遍
读你留下的信
不是责怪你
只是会想你
嘿你过得好吗
你过得好吗
会想起我吗
曾经的辛苦
还历历在目
嘿你过得好吗
你过得好吗
你受伤了吗
如果你幸福
　请对我微笑
　我会看着你
　到人海的那面
　他一定对你很好
　我能我能感觉的到
　亲爱的都忘了吧
　我曾说的天荒地老
　他一定会比我好
　一直一直对你很好
　亲爱的别回头了
　我会我会忍不住的
　
　一遍一遍一遍
　读你留下的信
　不是责怪你
　只是会想你
　嘿你过得好吗
　你过得好吗
　你受伤了吗
　如果你幸福
　请对我微笑
　我会看着你
　到人海的那面
　他一定对你很好
　我能我能感觉的到
　亲爱的都忘了吧
　我曾说的天荒地老
　他一定会比我好
　一直一直对你很好
　亲爱的别回头了
　我会我会忍不住的
　
　他一定对你很好
　我能我能感觉的到
　亲爱的全忘了吧
　我曾说的天荒地老
　我会逼自己做到
　不管从前有多美好
　亲爱的别回头了
　我会习惯一个人的
　你过得好吗
　你过得好吗
　会想起我吗

As Life flows;

2009-12-20T05:41:00.000-08:00

Will be getting a car soon...^_^
Or I have to wait dad to come back again for the next trip.
So yesterday we saw a black color Myvi,wanted to buy it but they was having doubts about my driving test.So they decided to buy it after I pass my driving test.
Guess who is going to buy a car for me?Surprisingly is my big brother...heh...
He told me he will get me a car right after I pass.Great isn't it?hahahha

Anyway,I was trying to clear the disk space just now.As the computer is going slow and got into lots of virus.So i need to clear some files and move all my files and my personal files to my thumb drive,but unfortunately I accidentally deleted all the pictures that i took from my phone last time,which included all those memories when I was with him.
Ahh well,I guess is just meant to be deleted earlier.Sighs.Even though I felt a bit upset about it,but I know all this memories will be gone sooner or later.
Now I realize things that are not meant to be,no matter how much you want them to be,is pointless.

things will get better soon.
:)

eeee-haaaah

2009-12-18T20:55:00.000-08:00

=D
Is been so long I never get to watch a movie but I watched Avatar yesterday!
I must say is a really nice movie.
Apparently,they are going to have another episode of avatar.
The movie is just like you're playing Ps3.
I'm sure there's a game of avatar.xD
The story line was really great.
Some part was really touching and I have tears from my eyes for some part.
Heh...
The 3D was beautifully done.
And and and,although the avatar looks a bit weird,but somehow it looks really awesome.
Neytiri (Zoe Saldana),she just looks gorgeous to me.
It was a happy ending though,Jake and Neytiri fall in love with each other.
Damn,there's so much to talk about this movie.Heh...
Oh yeah,last but not least,the natural environment of Pandora.I go WOW,I love the glowing colors man...Is just so BEAUTIFUL.
Anyway,
Still looking forward to New moon...hmm...

I got to go now,dad and bro is taking me to see cars.Dad is planning to buy a car for me ..HEH.I better not fail My driving test this tuesday.WISH ME LUCK YA...

Bye for now.

Love

2009-12-17T05:49:00.001-08:00

TELL me where is Fancy bred,
Or in the heart or in the head?
How begot, how nourished?
Reply, reply.
It is engender'd in the eyes,
With gazing fed; and Fancy dies
In the cradle where it lies.
Let us all ring Fancy's knell:
I'll begin it,--Ding, dong, bell.
All. Ding, dong, bell.

When to the sessions of sweet silent thought

2009-12-17T05:46:00.001-08:00

When to the sessions of sweet silent thought
I summon up remembrance of things past,
I sigh the lack of many a thing I sought,
And with old woes new wail my dear time's waste:
Then can I drown an eye, unused to flow,
For precious friends hid in death's dateless night,
And weep afresh love's long since cancelled woe,
And moan the expense of many a vanished sight:
Then can I grieve at grievances foregone,
And heavily from woe to woe tell o'er
The sad account of fore-bemoanèd moan,
Which I new pay as if not paid before.
But if the while I think on thee, dear friend,
All losses are restored and sorrows end.

William Shakespeare

Sonnets XVIII: Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?

2009-12-17T05:44:00.001-08:00

Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
Thou art more lovely and more temperate.
Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,
And summer's lease hath all too short a date.
Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines,
And often is his gold complexion dimm'd;
And every fair from fair sometime declines,
By chance or nature's changing course untrimm'd;
But thy eternal summer shall not fade
Nor lose possession of that fair thou ow'st;
Nor shall Death brag thou wander'st in his shade,
When in eternal lines to time thou grow'st:
So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this gives life to thee.

Sonnet 95: How sweet and lovely dost thou make the shame

2009-12-17T05:42:00.001-08:00

How sweet and lovely dost thou make the shame
Which, like a canker in the fragrant rose,
Doth spot the beauty of thy budding name!
O, in what sweets dost thou thy sins enclose!
That tongue that tells the story of thy days,
Making lascivious comments on thy sport,
Cannot dispraise, but in a kind of praise,
Naming thy name, blesses an ill report.
O, what a mansion have those vices got
Which for their habitation chose out thee,
Where beauty's veil doth cover every blot,
And all things turns to fair that eyes can see!
Take heed, dear heart, of this large privilege;
The hardest knife ill-used doth lose his edge.

William Shakespeare

Sonnet 8: Music to hear, why hear'st thou music sadly?

2009-12-17T05:41:00.001-08:00

Music to hear, why hear'st thou music sadly?
Sweets with sweets war not, joy delights in joy.
Why lov'st thou that which thou receiv'st not gladly,
Or else receiv'st with pleasure thine annoy?
If the true concord of well-tunèd sounds,
By unions married, do offend thine ear,
They do but sweetly chide thee, who confounds
In singleness the parts that thou shouldst bear.
Mark how one string, sweet husband to another,
Strikes each in each by mutual ordering,
Resembling sire and child and happy mother,
Who, all in one, one pleasing note do sing;
Whose speechless song being many, seeming one,
Sings this to thee: "Thou single wilt prove none."

William Shakespeare

Sonnet 71: No longer mourn for me when I am dead

2009-12-17T05:38:00.000-08:00

No longer mourn for me when I am dead
Than you shall hear the surly sullen bell
Give warning to the world that I am fled
From this vile world with vilest worms to dwell.
Nay if you read this line, remember not
The hand that writ it, for I love you so
That I in your sweet thoughts would be forgot
If thinking on me then should make you woe.
O, if, I say, you look upon this verse,
When I perhaps compounded am with clay,
Do not so much as my poor name rehearse,
But let your love even with my life decay,
Lest the wise world should look into your moan
And mock you with me after I am gone.

William Shakespeare

Sonnet 40: Take all my loves, my love, yea, take them all

2009-12-17T05:36:00.000-08:00

Take all my loves, my love, yea, take them all;
What hast thou then more than thou hadst before?
No love, my love, that thou mayst true love call;
All mine was thine, before thou hadst this more.
Then if for my love, thou my love receivest,
I cannot blame thee, for my love thou usest;
But yet be blamed, if thou thy self deceivest
By wilful taste of what thy self refusest.
I do forgive thy robbery, gentle thief,
Although thou steal thee all my poverty;
And yet love knows it is a greater grief
To bear love's wrong, than hate's known injury.
Lascivious grace, in whom all ill well shows,
Kill me with spites; yet we must not be foes.

William Shakespeare

Sonnet 151: Love is too young to know what conscience is

2009-12-17T05:35:00.000-08:00

Love is too young to know what conscience is;
Yet who knows not conscience is born of love?
Then, gentle cheater, urge not my amiss,
Lest guilty of my faults thy sweet self prove.
For thou betraying me, I do betray
My nobler part to my gross body's treason;
My soul doth tell my body that he may
Triumph in love; flesh stays no farther reason,
But, rising at thy name, doth point out thee
As his triumphant prize. Proud of this pride,
He is contented thy poor drudge to be,
To stand in thy affairs, fall by thy side.
No want of conscience hold it that I call,
Her "love" for whose dear love I rise and fall.

William Shakespeare

Sonnet 132: Thine eyes I love, and they, as pitying me

2009-12-17T05:34:00.000-08:00

Thine eyes I love, and they, as pitying me,
Knowing thy heart torment me with disdain,
Have put on black, and loving mourners be,
Looking with pretty ruth upon my pain.
And truly not the morning sun of heaven
Better becomes the grey cheeks of the east,
Nor that full star that ushers in the even
Doth half that glory to the sober west
As those two mourning eyes become thy face.
O, let it then as well beseem thy heart
To mourn for me since mourning doth thee grace,
And suit thy pity like in every part.
Then will I swear beauty herself is black,
And all they foul that thy complexion lack.

Sonnet 113: Since I left you, mine eye is in my mind

2009-12-17T05:33:00.001-08:00

Since I left you, mine eye is in my mind,
And that which governs me to go about
Doth part his function, and is partly blind,
Seems seeing, but effectually is out;
For it no form delivers to the heart
Of bird, of flower, or shape which it doth latch;
Of his quick objects hath the mind no part,
Nor his own vision holds what it doth catch;
For if it see the rud'st or gentlest sight,
The most sweet-favour or deformed'st creature,
The mountain or the sea, the day or night,
The crow or dove, it shapes them to your feature.
Incapable of more, replete with you,
My most true mind thus maketh mine untrue.

Sonnet 112: Your love and pity doth th' impression fill

2009-12-17T05:31:00.002-08:00

Your love and pity doth th' impression fill
Which vulgar scandal stamped upon my brow;
For what care I who calls me well or ill,
So you o'ergreen my bad, my good allow?
You are my all the world, and I must strive
To know my shames and praises from your tongue;
None else to me, nor I to none alive,
That my steeled sense or changes, right or wrong.
In so profound abysm I throw all care
Of others' voices that my adder's sense
To critic and to flatterer stoppèd are.
Mark how with my neglect I do dispense.
You are so strongly in my purpose bred,
That all the world besides, methinks, are dead.

Sonnet 102: My love is strengthened, though more weak in seeming

2009-12-17T05:31:00.001-08:00

My love is strengthened, though more weak in seeming;
I love not less, though less the show appear;
That love is merchandized, whose rich esteeming
The owner's tongue doth publish everywhere.
Our love was new, and then but in the spring
When I was wont to greet it with my lays,
As Philomel in summer's front doth sing,
And stops her pipe in growth of riper days—
Not that the summer is less pleasant now
Than when her mournful hymns did hush the night,
But that wild music burthens every bough,
And sweets grown common lose their dear delight.
Therefore like her I sometime hold my tongue,
Because I would not dull you with my song.

#1 By William Shakespear

2009-12-17T05:23:00.000-08:00

A Lover's Complaint

FROM off a hill whose concave womb reworded
A plaintful story from a sistering vale,
My spirits to attend this double voice accorded,
And down I laid to list the sad-tuned tale;
Ere long espied a fickle maid full pale,
Tearing of papers, breaking rings a-twain,
Storming her world with sorrow's wind and rain.

Upon her head a platted hive of straw,
Which fortified her visage from the sun,
Whereon the thought might think sometime it saw
The carcass of beauty spent and done:
Time had not scythed all that youth begun,
Nor youth all quit; but, spite of heaven's fell rage,
Some beauty peep'd through lattice of sear'd age.

Oft did she heave her napkin to her eyne,
Which on it had conceited characters,
Laundering the silken figures in the brine
That season'd woe had pelleted in tears,
And often reading what contents it bears;
As often shrieking undistinguish'd woe,
In clamours of all size, both high and low.

Sometimes her levell'd eyes their carriage ride,
As they did battery to the spheres intend;
Sometime diverted their poor balls are tied
To the orbed earth; sometimes they do extend
Their view right on; anon their gazes lend
To every place at once, and, nowhere fix'd,
The mind and sight distractedly commix'd.

Her hair, nor loose nor tied in formal plat,
Proclaim'd in her a careless hand of pride
For some, untuck'd, descended her sheaved hat,
Hanging her pale and pined cheek beside;
Some in her threaden fillet still did bide,
And true to bondage would not break from thence,
Though slackly braided in loose negligence.

A thousand favours from a maund she drew
Of amber, crystal, and of beaded jet,
Which one by one she in a river threw,
Upon whose weeping margent she was set;
Like usury, applying wet to wet,
Or monarch's hands that let not bounty fall
Where want cries some, but where excess begs all.

Of folded schedules had she many a one,
Which she perused, sigh'd, tore, and gave the flood;
Crack'd many a ring of posied gold and bone
Bidding them find their sepulchres in mud;
Found yet moe letters sadly penn'd in blood,
With sleided silk feat and affectedly
Enswathed, and seal'd to curious secrecy.

These often bathed she in her fluxive eyes,
And often kiss'd, and often 'gan to tear:
Cried 'O false blood, thou register of lies,
What unapproved witness dost thou bear!
Ink would have seem'd more black and damned here!'
This said, in top of rage the lines she rents,
Big discontent so breaking their contents.

A reverend man that grazed his cattle nigh--
Sometime a blusterer, that the ruffle knew
Of court, of city, and had let go by
The swiftest hours, observed as they flew--
Towards this afflicted fancy fastly drew,
And, privileged by age, desires to know
In brief the grounds and motives of her woe.

So slides he down upon his grained bat,
And comely-distant sits he by her side;
When he again desires her, being sat,
Her grievance with his hearing to divide:
If that from him there may be aught applied
Which may her suffering ecstasy assuage,
'Tis promised in the charity of age.

'Father,' she says, 'though in me you behold
The injury of many a blasting hour,
Let it not tell your judgment I am old;
Not age, but sorrow, over me hath power:
I might as yet have been a spreading flower,
Fresh to myself, If I had self-applied
Love to myself and to no love beside.

'But, woe is me! too early I attended
A youthful suit--it was to gain my grace--
Of one by nature's outwards so commended,
That maidens' eyes stuck over all his face:
Love lack'd a dwelling, and made him her place;
And when in his fair parts she did abide,
She was new lodged and newly deified.

'His browny locks did hang in crooked curls;
And every light occasion of the wind
Upon his lips their silken parcels hurls.
What's sweet to do, to do will aptly find:
Each eye that saw him did enchant the mind,
For on his visage was in little drawn
What largeness thinks in Paradise was sawn.

'Small show of man was yet upon his chin;
His phoenix down began but to appear
Like unshorn velvet on that termless skin
Whose bare out-bragg'd the web it seem'd to wear:
Yet show'd his visage by that cost more dear;
And nice affections wavering stood in doubt
If best were as it was, or best without.

'His qualities were beauteous as his form,
For maiden-tongued he was, and thereof free;
Yet, if men moved him, was he such a storm
As oft 'twixt May and April is to see,
When winds breathe sweet, untidy though they be.
His rudeness so with his authorized youth
Did livery falseness in a pride of truth.

'Well could he ride, and often men would say
'That horse his mettle from his rider takes:
Proud of subjection, noble by the sway,
What rounds, what bounds, what course, what stop
he makes!'
And controversy hence a question takes,
Whether the horse by him became his deed,
Or he his manage by the well-doing steed.

'But quickly on this side the verdict went:
His real habitude gave life and grace
To appertainings and to ornament,
Accomplish'd in himself, not in his case:
All aids, themselves made fairer by their place,
Came for additions; yet their purposed trim
Pieced not his grace, but were all graced by him.

'So on the tip of his subduing tongue
All kinds of arguments and question deep,
All replication prompt, and reason strong,
For his advantage still did wake and sleep:
To make the weeper laugh, the laugher weep,
He had the dialect and different skill,
Catching all passions in his craft of will:

'That he did in the general bosom reign
Of young, of old; and sexes both enchanted,
To dwell with him in thoughts, or to remain
In personal duty, following where he haunted:
Consents bewitch'd, ere he desire, have granted;
And dialogued for him what he would say,
Ask'd their own wills, and made their wills obey.

'Many there were that did his picture get,
To serve their eyes, and in it put their mind;
Like fools that in th' imagination set
The goodly objects which abroad they find
Of lands and mansions, theirs in thought assign'd;
And labouring in moe pleasures to bestow them
Than the true gouty landlord which doth owe them:

'So many have, that never touch'd his hand,
Sweetly supposed them mistress of his heart.
My woeful self, that did in freedom stand,
And was my own fee-simple, not in part,
What with his art in youth, and youth in art,
Threw my affections in his charmed power,
Reserved the stalk and gave him all my flower.

'Yet did I not, as some my equals did,
Demand of him, nor being desired yielded;
Finding myself in honour so forbid,
With safest distance I mine honour shielded:
Experience for me many bulwarks builded
Of proofs new-bleeding, which remain'd the foil
Of this false jewel, and his amorous spoil.

'But, ah, who ever shunn'd by precedent
The destined ill she must herself assay?
Or forced examples, 'gainst her own content,
To put the by-past perils in her way?
Counsel may stop awhile what will not stay;
For when we rage, advice is often seen
By blunting us to make our wits more keen.

'Nor gives it satisfaction to our blood,
That we must curb it upon others' proof;
To be forbod the sweets that seem so good,
For fear of harms that preach in our behoof.
O appetite, from judgment stand aloof!
The one a palate hath that needs will taste,
Though Reason weep, and cry, 'It is thy last.'

'For further I could say 'This man's untrue,'
And knew the patterns of his foul beguiling;
Heard where his plants in others' orchards grew,
Saw how deceits were gilded in his smiling;
Knew vows were ever brokers to defiling;
Thought characters and words merely but art,
And bastards of his foul adulterate heart.

'And long upon these terms I held my city,
Till thus he gan besiege me: 'Gentle maid,
Have of my suffering youth some feeling pity,
And be not of my holy vows afraid:
That's to ye sworn to none was ever said;
For feasts of love I have been call'd unto,
Till now did ne'er invite, nor never woo.

''All my offences that abroad you see
Are errors of the blood, none of the mind;
Love made them not: with acture they may be,
Where neither party is nor true nor kind:
They sought their shame that so their shame did find;
And so much less of shame in me remains,
By how much of me their reproach contains.

''Among the many that mine eyes have seen,
Not one whose flame my heart so much as warm'd,
Or my affection put to the smallest teen,
Or any of my leisures ever charm'd:
Harm have I done to them, but ne'er was harm'd;
Kept hearts in liveries, but mine own was free,
And reign'd, commanding in his monarchy.

''Look here, what tributes wounded fancies sent me,
Of paled pearls and rubies red as blood;
Figuring that they their passions likewise lent me
Of grief and blushes, aptly understood
In bloodless white and the encrimson'd mood;
Effects of terror and dear modesty,
Encamp'd in hearts, but fighting outwardly.

''And, lo, behold these talents of their hair,
With twisted metal amorously impleach'd,
I have received from many a several fair,
Their kind acceptance weepingly beseech'd,
With the annexions of fair gems enrich'd,
And deep-brain'd sonnets that did amplify
Each stone's dear nature, worth, and quality.

''The diamond,--why, 'twas beautiful and hard,
Whereto his invised properties did tend;
The deep-green emerald, in whose fresh regard
Weak sights their sickly radiance do amend;
The heaven-hued sapphire and the opal blend
With objects manifold: each several stone,
With wit well blazon'd, smiled or made some moan.

''Lo, all these trophies of affections hot,
Of pensived and subdued desires the tender,
Nature hath charged me that I hoard them not,
But yield them up where I myself must render,
That is, to you, my origin and ender;
For these, of force, must your oblations be,
Since I their altar, you enpatron me.

''O, then, advance of yours that phraseless hand,
Whose white weighs down the airy scale of praise;
Take all these similes to your own command,
Hallow'd with sighs that burning lungs did raise;
What me your minister, for you obeys,
Works under you; and to your audit comes
Their distract parcels in combined sums.

''Lo, this device was sent me from a nun,
Or sister sanctified, of holiest note;
Which late her noble suit in court did shun,
Whose rarest havings made the blossoms dote;
For she was sought by spirits of richest coat,
But kept cold distance, and did thence remove,
To spend her living in eternal love.

''But, O my sweet, what labour is't to leave
The thing we have not, mastering what not strives,
Playing the place which did no form receive,
Playing patient sports in unconstrained gyves?
She that her fame so to herself contrives,
The scars of battle 'scapeth by the flight,
And makes her absence valiant, not her might.

''O, pardon me, in that my boast is true:
The accident which brought me to her eye
Upon the moment did her force subdue,
And now she would the caged cloister fly:
Religious love put out Religion's eye:
Not to be tempted, would she be immured,
And now, to tempt, all liberty procured.

''How mighty then you are, O, hear me tell!
The broken bosoms that to me belong
Have emptied all their fountains in my well,
And mine I pour your ocean all among:
I strong o'er them, and you o'er me being strong,
Must for your victory us all congest,
As compound love to physic your cold breast.

''My parts had power to charm a sacred nun,
Who, disciplined, ay, dieted in grace,
Believed her eyes when they to assail begun,
All vows and consecrations giving place:
O most potential love! vow, bond, nor space,
In thee hath neither sting, knot, nor confine,
For thou art all, and all things else are thine.

''When thou impressest, what are precepts worth
Of stale example? When thou wilt inflame,
How coldly those impediments stand forth
Of wealth, of filial fear, law, kindred, fame!
Love's arms are peace, 'gainst rule, 'gainst sense,
'gainst shame,
And sweetens, in the suffering pangs it bears,
The aloes of all forces, shocks, and fears.

''Now all these hearts that do on mine depend,
Feeling it break, with bleeding groans they pine;
And supplicant their sighs to you extend,
To leave the battery that you make 'gainst mine,
Lending soft audience to my sweet design,
And credent soul to that strong-bonded oath
That shall prefer and undertake my troth.'

'This said, his watery eyes he did dismount,
Whose sights till then were levell'd on my face;
Each cheek a river running from a fount
With brinish current downward flow'd apace:
O, how the channel to the stream gave grace!
Who glazed with crystal gate the glowing roses
That flame through water which their hue encloses.

'O father, what a hell of witchcraft lies
In the small orb of one particular tear!
But with the inundation of the eyes
What rocky heart to water will not wear?
What breast so cold that is not warmed here?
O cleft effect! cold modesty, hot wrath,
Both fire from hence and chill extincture hath.

'For, lo, his passion, but an art of craft,
Even there resolved my reason into tears;
There my white stole of chastity I daff'd,
Shook off my sober guards and civil fears;
Appear to him, as he to me appears,
All melting; though our drops this difference bore,
His poison'd me, and mine did him restore.

'In him a plenitude of subtle matter,
Applied to cautels, all strange forms receives,
Of burning blushes, or of weeping water,
Or swooning paleness; and he takes and leaves,
In either's aptness, as it best deceives,
To blush at speeches rank to weep at woes,
Or to turn white and swoon at tragic shows.

'That not a heart which in his level came
Could 'scape the hail of his all-hurting aim,
Showing fair nature is both kind and tame;
And, veil'd in them, did win whom he would maim:
Against the thing he sought he would exclaim;
When he most burn'd in heart-wish'd luxury,
He preach'd pure maid, and praised cold chastity.

'Thus merely with the garment of a Grace
The naked and concealed fiend he cover'd;
That th' unexperient gave the tempter place,
Which like a cherubin above them hover'd.
Who, young and simple, would not be so lover'd?
Ay me! I fell; and yet do question make
What I should do again for such a sake.

'O, that infected moisture of his eye,
O, that false fire which in his cheek so glow'd,
O, that forced thunder from his heart did fly,
O, that sad breath his spongy lungs bestow'd,
O, all that borrow'd motion seeming owed,
Would yet again betray the fore-betray'd,
And new pervert a reconciled maid!'

你过得好吗?

2009-12-12T04:42:00.001-08:00

Tamia - Officially Missing You♥♥♥

2009-12-09T02:09:00.000-08:00

For ♥

2009-12-08T05:43:00.000-08:00

Kukatakan dengan indah
Dengan terbuka
Hatiku hampa
Sepertinya luka
Menghampirinya

Kau beri rasa
Yang berbeda
Mungkin kusalah
Mengartikannya
Yang kurasa cinta

* Tetapi hatiku
Selalu meninggikanmu
Terlalu meninggikanmu
Selalu meninggikanmu

** Kau hancurkan hatiku
Hancurkan lagi
Kau hancurkan hatiku
Tuk melihatmu

Kau terangi jiwaku
Kau redupkan lagih
Kau hancurkan hatiku
Tuk melihatmu

back to *

Membuatku terjatuh
Dan terjatuh lagi

** Membuatku merasakan
Yang tlah terjadi
Semua yang terbaik
Dan yang terlewati
Semua yang terhenti
Tanpa kuakhiri

Kau hancurkan hatiku
Tak tertahan lagi
Kau hancurkan hatiku
Tuk melihatmu

Kau terangi jiwaku
Kau redupkan lagi
Kau hancurkan hatiku
Tuk melihatmu ...

Is time :

2009-12-02T02:41:00.000-08:00

Please Excuse me;

Haha...Random video of dolly.This is how she do her business...

Well,I guess I should be moving on without him already...I have decided to choose to be myself again.It would be better for me to get over him to make my life even better and meaningful.Don't wanna waste my time for this anymore,cause is pointless to live like this because of someone that don't even care or give a damn about you.I've learned to be stronger because of you ,and I'm not gonna be that gullible to believe in whatever crap.Guess it should be better to live life to the fullest.Who knows someday i won't have the chance to live anymore.
Heaven knows why I'm thinking like this.I will never gonna regret about the past no more and I reckon I will keep myself busy to not remind myself about the past I had been through.

''Think whatever you want about me,say whatever you want about me because you know you don't care about me anymore,so why bother to even bullshit about me.''(:

Anyway,this new semester i'm facing now is gonna be tough,I got a feeling is going to pressure me.Economics is killing me,facing difficulties in chapter 2.Damn!
And Quantitative technologies is even worse,is like going back to form 4 and 5 modern maths!Why cant mathematics leave me alone.!T.T

I need to be focus and do well this time.
Got my last semester results,it was alright...Wanna see?HAHAHAHA...

Tada...

Not proud though should have done better...:(

she said :

2009-11-25T09:07:00.000-08:00

when will it stop
the pain
that darkness
that that that
that part of me
that was or Y-O-U!
why can't you feel it
why did u leave
why why why?
love hurts
but so does life

I hate to see the one I love happy with somebody
but I surely hate it more to see the one I love unhappy with me...

good good day:

2009-11-15T23:02:00.000-08:00

Went to the work shop yesterday and visited sarah in adventist hospital.
Got the T-shirt and is white...My favorite!=D

Pictures below:

Sarah:

WOOT!I'm loving the colour of my hair now:

_______________________________________________________________

Sighs...

Dad is going off to work in Macau for 3 months.And he is going off on this coming thursday...
So fast...=[ No more food on the table for me for 3 months.
I dislike to live with my mum,cause she is a very irresponsible mother.
I love my dad ,but he had to go.Dolly and I will be missing him a lot.
And no more astro from now onwards because astro is giving a lot of problems.Always cannot watch when raining and the wire spoiled or something.
So dad is going to cut off the astro by today and off to Macau very soon.
Sighs...
My life is going to be a miserable one without my dad.My college gonna start soon and I guess i'm going to walk to college everyday instead of asking my mum to fetch me there.
She will definitely ask me to walk there alone.
I HATE HER.
T.T

I'm just half way learning to drive;even if I got my P licence I still dont have a car with me yet cause dad will not be with me.
Cause he told me he will buy me a small car to drive...=[
Well,I got to wait until next year already.

Will be going for a farewell dinner tonight with my bro's girlfriend and my parents.
Is gonna be Evelyn and my dad's farewell.
One is going off to KL and another one is going off to MACAU.

Will miss them a lot.

What if whats best for "us"

Is whats hardest to do

I still love you but,

I have to let you go

I love you....

2009-11-12T21:46:00.000-08:00

I Love You Goodbye – Nina

Wish i could be the one
The one who could give you love
The kind of love you really need
Wish i could say to you

That i’ll always stay with you
But baby that’s not me
You need someone willing to give their heart and soul to you
Promise you forever, baby that’s something i can’t do

Oh i could say that i’ll be all you need
But that would be a lie
I know i’d only hurt you
I know i’d only make you cry
I’m not the one you’re needing
I love you, goodbye

I hope someday you can find some way to understand i’m only doing this for you
I don’t really wanna go
But deep in my heart i know this is the kindest thing to do
You’ll find someone who’ll be the one that i could never be
Who’ll give you something better
Than the love you’ll find with me
Oh i could say that i’ll be all you need
But that would be a crime
I know i’d only hurt you
I know i’d only make you cry
I’m not the one you’re needing
I love you, goodbye

Leaving someone when you love someone
Is the hardest thing to do
When you love someone as much as i love you

Oh i don’t wanna leave you
Baby it tears me up inside
But i’ll never be the one you’re needing
I love you, goodbye

Baby, its never ganna work out
I love you, goodbye

Incredible child genius in malaysia

2009-11-11T22:49:00.000-08:00

Who is this child genius?
His name is Adi Putra Abdul Ghani

He is a CEO and a lecturer now.

The star says:

CHILD genius Adi Putra Abdul Ghani, 10, is now the chief executive officer of two companies and a lecturer who charges RM6,000 per hour, Sin Chew Daily and Nanyang Siang Pau reported.

The dailies said his mother Serihana Alias operates the two companies, which sell vitamins under the brand Adi.

Adi Putra, who is supposed to be attending Year Four classes at his age, has stopped schooling.

He has been invited to certain local universities to give lectures.

The Perak-born child genius, who moved to Selangor with his family a few years ago, was quoted as saying that he wanted to be a lecturer in Islamic studies.

Serihana said he keeps track of foreign stock markets via the Internet and studies at home.

“He’s interested in mathematics, physics, chemistry, geography and biology, but not so much in history and politics. He dislikes reading books but loves spending his time browsing the Net for study materials.

“Adi also hopes to study in Canada, Singapore or the United States, but we have yet to come to a final decision,” she said.

Just imagine :RM6OOO per hour for a 10 years old kid.RM 6000 is quite a lot for him to spend as a young boy.
Even a teacher or a lecturer can't even afford to have that amount of money per hour...

This young boy is seriously BRILLIANT!

He is going to be very successful in the future.

How amazing to see such a young boy earning so much than the teachers and lecturers.XD

Emotinal thoughts :

2009-11-07T02:12:00.000-08:00

I have always wanted to know you since I first saw you walking out,but I never dare to do so.

But I never thought that you will be gone that soon.
I'm just a little bit too late to know your name and so much about you.
I never judge wrong about you when the first time I see you.
You left so much of memories here and is all a good one.
People could only treasure the past of what you've left today.

Is really sad to hear about the sudden death of yours.
I was really shocked,I thought it wasn't you.But when I see clearly,it was really you.
Is really hard to accept the truth.
I admit I cried for you even I don't have the chance to see you or get to know you again.
Wish you could have live longer but is alright,I believe you're now in a better place.

May you rest in peace.

Reminiscing back:

The first time I saw you,you was walking out from your house,and I was walking back to my house after school by public bus.

The last time I saw you,you went to the nearby coffee shop to buy food from the Japanese stall.It was really a surprise to met you there,but still we don't even know each other.

But now,you're gone and i only started to know so much about you,isn't it too late?

Well,is destiny.

________________________________________________________________

For those who are facing a sudden death of your beloved friends or family :

Take all the time you need to feel all that you need to feel.

Take all the time you need to remember and revisit all that you experienced and shared with the one you lost.

There will be a day when you do not weep.

There will be a day when you surprise yourself with a small laugh.

There will be a day when your heart’s heaviness has lifted.

Saya Anak Bangsa Malaysia (SABM)

2009-11-05T23:54:00.000-08:00

Random

2009-11-05T07:20:00.000-08:00

Emily took What Song Discribes Your Love Life?(Lyrics Included)

HeartBroken
You have been hurt, and you don't know where to go from this point. Listen to this song! Its a good one! (Lifehouse) Broken (Lyrics) I'm falling apart I'm barely breathing With a broken heart That's still beating In the pain There is heal...ing In your name I find meaning So I'm holding on (I'm holdin on)(I'm holdin on) I'm barely holding on to you The broken locks were a warning You got inside my head I tried my best to be guarded I'm an open book instead And I still see your reflection Inside of my eyes That are looking for purpose They're still looking for life

Emily took What State Is Your Heart In?

Heart Thats Been Shattered
Your heart has been shattered beyond hope, everyday brings more pain and endless despair. Someone may have just taken your heart and crushed it in their hands and you feel it throb within your chest everyday. To you love brings only pain and misery even w...hat were once your closest memories just bring tears now, if there is any hope of your smile ever returning or this pain ever ending your can't see it from where you are.

Is so true about me,I go OMG...IS SO TRUE! Before I did the quiz I was so addicted to LIFEHOUSE!The first song I heard was BROKEN,and i find it very very meaningful and nice and started to search more of thier songs.And Half of the songs suits me!Woo hooo...=D

Love is Pain :

The sweets:

2009-11-05T02:41:00.001-08:00

I found my sweets in my handbag pocket!!!Gosh,is been so long already.
Hmmm...let me see when was the last time I blog about this sweets.haha...

Lol!I found the post already :
http://aslifeflows.blogspot.com/2009/09/time-flies-when-youre-busy.html

wow...it was since 19/9/09 so it means since 19 september 2009...Haha...Months ago already.

I'm gonna eat it to get my self stomach pain.=D

LIFEHOUSE <3333

2009-11-04T22:48:00.001-08:00

"Whatever It Takes"

A strangled smile fell from your face
It kills me that I hurt you this way
The worst part is that I didn't even know
Now there's a million reasons for you to go
But if you can find a reason to stay

I'll do whatever it takes
To turn this around
I know what's at stake
I know that I've let you down
And if you give me a chance
Believe that I can change
I'll keep us together whatever it takes

She said "If we're gonna make this work
You gotta let me inside even though it hurts
Don't hide the broken parts that I need to see"
She said "Like it or not it's the way it's gotta be
You gotta love yourself if you can ever love me"

I'll do whatever it takes
To turn this around
I know what's at stake
I know that I've let you down
And if you give me a chance
And give me a break
I'll keep us together, I know you deserve much better

But remember the time I told you the way that I felt
That I'd be lost without you and never find myself
Let's hold onto each other above everything else
Start over, start over

I'll do whatever it takes
To turn this around
I know what's at stake
I know I've let you down
And if you give me a chance
and believe that I can change
I'll keep us together whatever it takes

what's up!

2009-11-02T20:49:00.000-08:00

Is been so long since I blog...

Well,nothing much though...I am bored as usual.

woo hoo...Lifehouse-broken is nice....

Great People :

2009-10-24T08:13:00.000-07:00

Went gurney today,and I had fun.Thanks to elspeth and friends.

Apparently a lot of people been searching for me for a long time,everybody been looking for me and thought that I was lost while kept wondering where's emily.A lot of people was really surprised to see me and felt that they have found a long lost friend.Haha...Now i only know I was famous once.Not a good thing though,wanna keep my self a low profile better.Now,at least they know I'm still alive...Great.

Took a lot of pictures with them because they was so excited to see me.Make me felt really touched.And my presence were so important to them....Great people.

I know I had been missing for a long time due to some problems,I am sorry.
I did this for the sake of love.

Anyway,i'm glad to spend half of my day with you guys.=D

Watched movie and chit chatting around is enough to make my day to forget him.

I will move on and I will take everyone's advices from now.

Goodnight World!

Semester break 2009

2009-10-23T01:16:00.000-07:00

Will be going to check out for french lesson tomorrow morning...
Dad wants me to pick up languages like German,Japanese or french.And I've made my choice which is French.
Perhaps going for the trial classes.

Hmm... hope is interesting,because I am interested in learning languages...Well so here I come.

Hehe...Dad said he will sponsor me.Because he dislike me doing nothing and waste time when i am having a long sem break.

Oh ya,another thing...I have been procrastinating my undang computer test till now because I dont seem to lulus by practicing myself in the computer,but now I am improving and I got 80 and above which means Lulus.

Well,I need to call up to book for my test and transportation myself.Shouldnt have procrastinate it!

I don't feel like going gurney tomorrow with els but I have no idea how to tell her.=/

My mobile number havent been told to anyone else accept Mum and him.
Haha...Just now one random number called :I thought it was him...But when I saw the number,it wasnt him la.Never dare to answer cause I don't know the number,perhaps he or she might called the wrong number.But hello!My number is a new number!Lol.

Ok la,I can't wait to learn french...I am like so new!

Well will be going to

Alliance Francaise De Penang tomorrow!

Check it out:www.pg.alliancefrancaise.org.my

Signing out!Adios~ =D

Breast Cancer month

2009-10-20T23:35:00.000-07:00

Hallmark channel is always about life!
Loving it.
Especially the song they usually play it on Tv during advertisement:

hey baby don't forget
live a life with no regrets
you know you got to love this life
love your life
how can you be blue
when the world awaits for you
loving your life
life life life is beautiful
love your life

Until now I still haven't get a new mobile number myself.
Promised elspeth to get a new one by today,she kept bug me to get a new number so that can sms eachother...
But honestly,I hate sms-ing.Lol

Anyway,going Kulim this friday cause my aunt won 30thousand for 4 digit numbers.
So she is gonna treat us eat.Wonder how much she will give me,sighs...felt bad oso la,never even visit her.:(

__________________________________________________________________

All the songs you used to share and listen reminds me of you,i will continue loving you,doesn't matter how long is it going to be.

Sighs...I know talk is cheap...but I mean it myself.

Every night I see our pictures we took,and I could only give a kiss on your face on my phone screen. How insane!
And my eyes will look very weird every time when i woke up from my sleep.

Feels like I have always known you
And I swear I dreamt about you
All those endless nights I was alone
It's like I've spent forever searching
Now I know that it was worth it
With you it feels like I am finally home

Falling head over heels
Thought I knew how it feels
But with you it's like the first day of my life

Cuz you leave me speechless
When you talk to me
You leave me breathless
The way you look at me
You manage to disarm me
My soul is shining through
Can't help but surrender
My everything to you

I thought I could resist you
I thought that I was strong
Somehow you were different from what I've known
I didn't see you coming
You took me by surprise and
You stole my heart before I could say no

Falling head over heels
Thought I knew how it feels
But with you it's like the first day of my life

You leave me speechless
When you talk to me
You leave me breathless
The way you look at me
You manage to disarm me
My soul is shining through
I can't help but surrender
Oh no
My everything to you

You leave me speechless
(the way you smile, the way you touch my face)
You leave me breathless
(it's something that you do I can't explain)
I run a million miles just to hear you say my name
Baby

You leave me speechless
You leave me breathless
The way you look at me
You manage to disarm me
My soul is shining through
I can't help but surrender
My everything to you

Still I cry silently

2009-10-20T08:08:00.000-07:00

I learned to cry silently as a child

I was taught my feelings were something to hide

My thoughts seemed to matter as much as I

And if someone said different they were telling a lie

I was taught to hide myself behind my smile

Constantly I was reminded I wasn't worth while

Yet my shame loomed over me as I lived within my skin

I find myself now wondering just who really did win

I carry with me all my tortures and guilt

Praying to God each day that this torture does quit

My uncertainty now is the life that I lead

Expecting to much, trying to fill that need

Wanting so badly to be accepted and loved

Yet wanting to be free, as free as a dove

The dove represents purity of which I have none

I feel alone in this world, there is no one

Still I cry silently just like that child

My feelings still don't matter and from them I still hide

I bury them deeper and deeper than before

I can not bring myself to open that door

Not really certain of what I will find

This life is my prison; I can not hide

The reminders are constant with each glimpse of myself

Just wanting to run and hide from myself

Yet the guilt and the shame, they follow me

Clouding my thoughts; almost blinding me

Pain and loss are familiar to me

Breaking my heart while laughing at me

Time seems to pass and the torture prevails

No laughter, just sadness with a veil of tears

Loneliness overshadows these thoughts at times

But soon am reminded of my past crimes

Still I sit crying just like that little girl

Finding myself lost in my own little world

Is there anyone at all who can see through this pain?

Will there ever be life in these eyes again?

I oftentimes wonder why this happened to me

And then I realize, it was meant to be

If things had been different, would I be the same?

Would my life be filled with this torture and shame?

I still try to run and hide from my past

But it always finds me; I can't run that fast

The child inside me just wants to live

But the person I am has not learned to forgive

Its a process they tell me and that it is slow

I want to be whole, I just want to grow

I want to know love and to give it back

I want to know feelings; I'm tired of this black

Emotional thoughts ;

2009-10-10T08:47:00.000-07:00

Can someone save me?
I'm really dying over him.
I know nothing's gonna change...
But this feeling is hurting me each time.
I broke down a lot a lot of time.
I can feel my heart is breaking each day.
Trying to act strong ,but i know I'm weak at times.
I pity myself to get hurt so badly,
My tears are falling each sentence I'm expressing.
My emotional thoughts are killing me in pain.
This pain will never erase ,will never vanish away...
This feeling makes me wanna die,
I wish i could just die,and stop living.
But i know is not worth it,not worth it at all.
I got to be rational over committing suicide...
I've becoming this ugly ,
but all i want to do,
is be more like me and be less like you.
I told my self not to call him anymore,but still i insist.
The more i call him the more i wish to talk to him,
I will be even more painful.
Because the treatment from him was not nice at all...

I'm just being hurt each day,i felt that my heart is wounded badly.

I just had to cry out loud silently in my room when there's no one around me...

I can't control this feeling anymore,i cannot bare with it any longer.

God,please help me...I really had enough.
I'm so sick with this love life...

And i shall cry my self to sleep again and again...

I got to stop this,not to call him to hurt my self again.
I'm weak enough...

It felt like this huge prison of sadness,and i knew that death would set me free.

Goodnight Emily.

Back

2009-10-09T05:05:00.000-07:00

Finished my housework around 4 something then
straight away watch singapore series...
ahaha...
Now everything is clean...
After the singapore series ended went to do my own fake medicure with fake nails.
I did 2 of my toe nails too...
HAHAHA...
then watch TV since 6pm until now...Great!

Well,let me show you my nails :

My toe nails:

Nice or not?
But is a bit uncomfortable...cause is long...

Wish I can have a real medicure and pedicure.

:)

Anyway,i won't be jogging tomorrow,dad told me he is tired cause he is out the whole day today...
Will jog only the next day which is Sunday.
Heh...

By the way,the song RETURN TO ME is nice,cause i wish to dedicate this song to my love.

Here's the lyrics:
I know my voice is silence to your ears
I know I said some things you didn't deserve to hear
I miss you, God I miss you, why do I miss you?
I lie awake at night kicking at the sheets
No matter how much I try they never cover my feet
I need you, God I need you, why do I?
I finally gathered up the strength
To get through my days

[Chorus]
You lift me up
(Just to let me down)
You lift me up
(Just to let me down)

You call me on the phone to try to see if I'm at home
You play with my emotions; give me some kind of hope
I miss you, God I miss you, why do I?
I finally gathered up the strength
To get through these lonely, lonely nights

[Chorus]

You've got me desperate and confused
And my confidence is thrown
I'd rather be miserable with you
Than ever be alone
You're free, of me

You lift me up
(Just to let me down)

I will change the way I talk
I will change the way I feel
I will change the way I walk
Until nothing left is real
I will change the way I call your name
I will change the way I eat
I will change the way I touch you
When you're lying there asleep
Because I miss you
God I miss you, I miss you
Return to me
Return to me
I will change everything.

Goodnight!

6:41am

2009-10-08T15:41:00.000-07:00

Good Morning people,I'm awake for a jog.
now waiting for dad...
Lol...

__________________
Came back at 730am...
So frigging tired!
Like very very tired!
Dad and I jogged until G hotel only...
Haha...
We sat there and talk,told dad about the sunset.At the same time,dad asked me to massage for him...Lmao...and i did lo...What a great daughter...=D
But i did not see the sunset.
Hmm...i can't believe my dad can jog better than me...
I'm so weak...
Now,i know why woman hates to be fat,
Because is so hard to burn your fats...
Exercising is so hard and stressful,my stomach was painful while jogging.
I sweat like hell...
I just have to stopped half way jogging back but dad wasn't...I go wow,and i wanted to challenge him..But obviously i cant la...
Half way jogging back,we fed pigeon with an old uncle...Nicee....

Once i got home,I quickly switched on the air-cond in my room and sat on the floor.
Felt like vomiting...Damn it!
Then make myself a cup of hot milo and rest.
After one hour go bath and sleep again until 11 am...HAHAHAH...
Now,dad is out and asked me to clean the house...
But i'm going to bath my baby first then only vacuum and mop the floor...
Clean the house is also one of the way of burning fats kay...
And i hate my super fat face like so much...
I'm not gonna have lunch already...
So till here from now,will be back when I'm done with my housework...
XD

Today ;

2009-10-08T07:28:00.000-07:00

Been home the whole day...
LOL!
Been spending my whole day watching xiaxue's (wendy) videos...
I love her entertaining me la...
I watched almost all her video you know!
Xiaxue(wendy) is really really good...I love the way she speaks...
Well,
now i know what to do when I'm bored.
xD
I still wanna follow up her videos...

I'm gonna like sleep now you know...early right?
I feels like today is Friday or saturday...
So relax and nice...
But sighs,at the same time missing him as usual...
Well tomorrow i wanna JOG!I mean it!
Wanna wake up as early like half past 6...so that i can see sunset in gurney drive...
hah..
reminds me of my love told me about the sunset was very nice.Sighs...
we even planned to watch it together...But now...is just have to come to an end.

Anyway,
I love the song from the last goodnight...

The Last Goodnight - Poison Kiss lyrics
The Last Goodnight - Back Where We Belong lyrics
The Last Goodnight - Pictures Of You lyrics
The Last Goodnight - Stay Beautiful lyrics
The Last Goodnight - This Is The Sound lyrics
The Last Goodnight - One Trust lyrics
The Last Goodnight - Return To Me lyrics
The Last Goodnight - Good Love lyrics
The Last Goodnight - If I Talk To God lyrics
The Last Goodnight - Push Me Away lyrics
The Last Goodnight - In Your Arms lyrics
The Last Goodnight - Incomplete lyrics
Check it out...
My favorites are in red!

Pictures of you :

Return to me:

One trust :

Good love :

No jogging :(

2009-10-07T19:49:00.000-07:00

I miss my jogging as i said I'm going to jog by today...
But I did not make it...
Was very sleepy because of sleeping late last night...
FML...

Then now the weather is cooling...
Lol...
Dad says : Jogging wor!
Emily says: It was raining ok...hehe...
Actually it wasn't raining early in the morning...
I'm just being lazy to wake up...
Well, nevermind...
Today can't make it still got tomorrow...XD

Anyway,Dad wanted to go for a movie today...
I shall see how...=)

I Love you...

2009-10-07T07:11:00.000-07:00

I think of you day and night,
reminiscing about the past we had,I just can't help it.
You were the one for me all this while,
and I'm used to your love.
Before I sleep I will be looking through our pictures we took together,
I treasure it all night long with my tears falling.
It was a sleepless night after losing you.
Although how tired i am,I just never give up being aware of you.

You're all I need.

26/09/2009

I am loving you but i had to lose you
tears keep falling down
I am finally trying to make a break through
but the thing is that i still don't know how
it must be your love that I have in my heart
that keeps me going
you still loved me and now i keep showing
my love for you
even though
I had to lose you but I am still loving you
everyday every waking hour
I have you in my mind
i just got to go through this life without you.

30/09/09

I've been missing you for a long time,
but i know you're not coming back to me anymore.
I miss your presence,your voice and your love.
I wish somehow,someday I could have you back here by my side.
Is been hurting me so badly,
that I don't even know what I'm actually living for without you.

2/10/09

You left me wondering around
No longer do I feel safe and sound
Stumbling on our pictures
Cant keep in all of this hurt
I loved you so damn much
That now I cry for your touch
That no longer comes my way
No matter how much I beg and pray
Into my bed I crawl alone
Just to see myself left alone
It was a week ago since you said goodbye
But your presence still lingers here with me
It fills my body with such distress
Turning me into a total mess

I hold my broken heart in my hand
Trying to keep it together the best I can
But no matter how much glue I use
I still cry and feel sad
For in this prison called my room
I keep memories of me and you
They haunt me every second of the day
I just wish this pain would go away

I could only treasure the
pictures of you holding me
for a memory of what we used to be
and
I love you,no matter what life takes us through.

07/10/09

I wish you know:

''If loving you is still a possibility

When you return I'll be there for you

Cause in my heart I'll always love you.''

No Title...

2009-10-07T03:05:00.000-07:00

Went out to shopped with my mum this afternoon for a short while.
We went Komtar cause mum knows that I wanted to buy hair clips and stuffs.

There's like a special promotion in S&M so called hot market...Have you heard it?
While walking , we saw Buy one free one...Lol...
Very cheap...spend there for like almost 2 hours ...
They sell all kind of beautiful hair pins,hair clips,ear rings... and so much more...

I even saw fake hair extension...Awwwh..Wanted to buy it because if i buy i will get one free...
But I'm like so undecided...so forget about it...
The pictures below is what i bought:
I bought ear rings,hairband, don't know what's that called but looks like a comb,i tried that comb thingy after i bought it,I test it on my hair and it was like'' omg! so painful! ''
Well,i bought a hair clip and a cheap eyeliner made in china..WAAHAHA...XD
Oh yeah,last but not least i bought fake nails with nice decoration.
I'm so into nails now...I love to see beautiful design on people's nails.
So i bought it...hahaha...
I will try it soon once I have the time...and I shall let you see how it looks like.

Bought one white colour singlet,it was very tight but doesnt matter cause is hot,and also bought a black colour sleeveless dress:

Here comes my baby :

Take one:
Take two:

Take three:
She is cute isnt it?HAH!

Well,tomorrow morning I'm gonna wake dad up to jog with me in gurney drive...then come back bath and practice my computer test for the whole day. After that, I shall take my test by this coming weekends...=)

A sigh of relief. ;

2009-10-06T21:30:00.000-07:00

Everything has come to an end...

My exams ended today,my period finish too...

Is it a good start?

Lol...

I'm having a semester break from now onwards but don't know until when...

I got to check out from people soon.

If i'm not mistaken is only a short break...
BLAHH...

I'm quite upset about my marketing exam today.

MY 10 marks on part C...habis lah...Mati teruk on that question.

So regret that I read wrongly ...stupid me!being lazy and read the short notes...
If I thought of part C giving 10 marks for each question while doing my studies last night...Maybe I will get that full fucking 10 marks.....

Urghhhh...

Well...screw it!

So now...I just have to forget about it...
I always had this feeling after my exams...
Got to move on,move on,move on...
Aiks...Aiks...

I want to dedicate you a song lyrics:
Shadows fill an empty heart
As love is fading,
From all the things that we are
But are not saying.
Can we see beyond the scars
And make it to the dawn?

Change the colors of the sky.
And open up to
The ways you made me feel alive,
The ways I loved you.
For all the things that never died,
To make it through the night,
Love will find you.

What about now?
What about today?
What if you're making me all that I was meant to be?
What if our love never went away?
What if it's lost behind words we could never find?
Baby, before it's too late,
What about now?

The sun is breaking in your eyes
To start a new day.
This broken heart can still survive
With a touch of your grace.
Shadows fade into the light.
I am by your side,
Where love will find you.

What about now?
What about today?
What if you're making me all that I was meant to be?
What if our love, it never went away?
What if it's lost behind words we could never find?
Baby, before it's too late,
What about now?

Now that we're here,
Now that we've come this far,
Just hold on.
There is nothing to fear,
For I am right beside you.
For all my life,
I am yours.

What about now?
What about today?
What if you're making me all that I was meant to be?
What if our love never went away?
What if it's lost behind words we could never find?

What about now?
What about today?
What if you're making me all that I was meant to be?
What if our love never went away?
What if it's lost behind words we could never find?
Baby, before it's too late,
Baby, before it's too late,
Baby, before it's too late,
What about now?

The winner takes it all

2009-10-04T07:26:00.000-07:00

I dont wanna talk
About the things weve gone through
Though its hurting me
Now its history
Ive played all my cards
And thats what youve done too
Nothing more to say
No more ace to play

The winner takes it all
The loser standing small
Beside the victory
Thats her destiny

I was in your arms
Thinking I belonged there
I figured it made sense
Building me a fence
Building me a home
Thinking Id be strong there
But I was a fool
Playing by the rules

The gods may throw a dice
Their minds as cold as ice
And someone way down here
Loses someone dear
The winner takes it all
The loser has to fall
Its simple and its plain
Why should I complain.

But tell me does she kiss
Like I used to kiss you?
Does it feel the same
When she calls your name?
Somewhere deep inside
You must know I miss you
But what can I say
Rules must be obeyed

The judges will decide
The likes of me abide
Spectators of the show
Always staying low
The game is on again
A lover or a friend
A big thing or a small
The winner takes it all

I dont wanna talk
If it makes you feel sad
And I understand
Youve come to shake my hand
I apologize
If it makes you feel bad
Seeing me so tense
No self-confidence
But you see
The winner takes it all
The winner takes it all......

I believe in chinese zodiac....do you?

2009-10-03T23:55:00.000-07:00

Ascertain who is the love of your life and analysis the love compatibility between you and your lover/spouse.Have you ever looked at your partner and wondered if he or she is indeed the one for you? Are you ever frustrated by the communication breakdown you experience with your partner and wish that you knew a way to close the gap at all times? Looking for a glimpse at what a good life partner will be like? Ever wanted to have the future's information in your hands to be able to enjoy a fulfilling, romantic union with no uncertainties and mistakes?

My Chinese zodiac is sheep.What about you?

2009 Chinese Horoscope for people born in Sheep years: 1907, 1919, 1931, 1943, 1955, 1967, 1979, 1991, 2003.

Sheep people had a better luck than most of people in 2008, year of Rat. All career, money, love and health had good news to them last year. However, the year of Cow will be different. This is because Cow and Sheep have fighting relationship, which could bring things turbulent. Sheep people need to pay attention at work, at home or traveling to avoid argument, lawsuit, blooding, accident or money loss. In general, they have to spend lots of effort to overcome many hardship in 2009.

Career: Since the fighting relationship between Sheep and Cow, Sheep people shouldn't have great career performance in 2009. There is no Lucky Star appearing, but many Unlucky Stars coming to career area in year of 2009. This is very unfavorable to your job position. Your job duty will be heavier. The difficulty level of the task will be higher. The schedule of the project will be tighter. Unexpected obstacles will come to you. The progress of the plan will be slowing down. You will be losing trust from your boss. Also, you will involve the issue on company personnel coordination. Then, you cannot concentrate on your daily business. Therefore, you don't have the chance and time to show off your job ability. If the company has financial trouble, then you have to find a way to save your position.

Money: Career is always the major factor to determine the money luck. If your career luck is poor, then you shouldn't expect any extra income from your job. There is a Broken Star in the money area. That means it's hard to accumulate the wealth in this year. You might lose money since gambling, wrong business deal, risky investment or accident. Whatever you earn, you will spend it at the end and you won't have any extra savings. Therefore, you need to think about balancing the budget before spending money in 2009.

Love: Neither a Love Star nor an Unlucky Star is coming in love area this year. Therefore the love fortune for Sheep people is fair this year. Your partner will complaint about your attitude on your love relationship because of your constantly absence of mind. Maybe the pressure from your job, you don't have good temper like before and lose your passion in love. In order to keep your love relationship, you need to pay attention on your words and deeds.

Health: The fighting relationship between Sheep and Cow always brings something to trouble people. Too much worry could bring people illness. If you are senior, then you have to watch for your health this year. Whenever feeling uncomfortable, you need to visit the doctor and don't let a tiny illness become a serious disease. If you are a young Sheep people, you need to make sure you have good sleeping quality. No enough sleep at night lets you lose energy during daytime, impact your working efficiency and then affect your health and your job.

Fortune: Because your career luck and money luck are unstable in 2009. You have better to keep your profile low. You need to bear the challenge and endure the trouble, stick on your position and must avoid changing your job. If possible, you also have better not to travel to long distance, not to attend funeral, not to visit the sick people, not do home improvement or redecoration. Your health should be fair. If you have a long term disease, as long as you pay attention on it, you can keep the same health. In general, Sheep people must not show off themselves and don't try to be a hero in 2009. They should only focus on their job responsibilities, then they will have a safe and peaceful year of Cow.

After reading the article above :
I've learned SHEEP and COW are not meant to be together
Well is so true,I BELIEVE...IS VERY TRUE!

Wanna know about your fortune of Career, Money Love and Health in 2009, the year of Cow?
CHECK THIS OUT AT :http://www.chinesefortunecalendar.com/2009/2009Zodiac.htm

My tears kept falling down.

2009-10-03T09:35:00.000-07:00

I just cried over a very sad video.
It is very sad people...
I wish I could do something to help.
I felt so helpless...
I cried non-stop...like continuously crying...
Lucky No body is around me...
I can even feel my heart is painful at the same time crying...

I would like to share this video with everyone here and I really hope you could share it to people around you too.

This is my first time seeing people suffering in such pain.

Let's change the world to be a better place.

I will show you the video soon when youtube is back from the maintenance.

Well,back...
Please watch it...
You will definitely feel sad...

Thank god for sending such a wonderful people for them to be in a better place now.

Now,I felt so much relief...Hopefully,they will continue exploring the village to village again.
May god bless Jane,Sam and Esther.

心跳-HeartBeat

2009-10-03T08:42:00.000-07:00

想跟我吵架我没那麽无聊
Xiang gen wo chao jia Wo mei na me wu liao
You want to argue with me. I’m not that bored.
不懂得道歉我没那麽聪明
Bu dong de dao qian Wo mei na me cong ming
I don't understand how to apologize. I’m not that bright.
好想要回到我们的原点
Hao xiang yao hui dao wo men de yuan dian
I really want to go back to where we started from.

你又在哭泣我给不了安慰
Ni you zai ku qi Wo gei bu liao an wei
You are crying again. I can't comfort you.
我又在摇头有那麽点後悔
Wo you zai yao tou You na me dian hou hui
I’m shaking my head again disapproving of my actions. There’s only that much regret.
爱情的发展已难以回头却无法往前走
Ai qing de fa zhan yi nan yi hui tou que wu fa wang qian zou
Love’s development is already hard to turn back, but I’m unable to go forward.

但身不由己出现在胸口两颗心能塞几个问号
Dan shen bu you ji chu xian zai xiong kou Liang ke xin neng sai ji ge wen hao
My feelings surge and take over. How many problems can two hearts contain?
爱让我们流多少眼泪
Ai rang wo men liu duo shao yan lei
How many tears did love make us shed?

你的眼神充满美丽带走我的心跳
Ni de yan shen chong man mei li dai zou de xin tiao
Your eyes are brimming with beauty to carry away my heartbeat.

你的温柔如此靠近带走我的心跳
Ni de wen rou ru ci kao jin dai zou wo de xin tiao
In this way, your tenderness draws closer to take away my heartbeat.
逆转时光到一开始能不能给一秒
Ni zhuan shi guang dao yi kai shi Neng bu neng gei yi miao
Time has turned back to a beginning. Can you give me a moment?

等着哪一天你也想起
Deng zhe na yi tian ni ye xiang qi
I’m waiting for whatever day when you will also remember
那悬在记忆中的美好
Na xuan zai ji yi zhong de mei hao
That happiness hovering in your memories.

Been listening to this lately...A very very nice touching song from my beloved Lee hom.
I'm Loving it.

Fat face

2009-10-02T22:19:00.000-07:00

My face starting to get fat as in becoming chubby.
Urghhh...
What can i do now?
Jogging?
Lol...

I'm going for a jog right after my final exams...
Starting to get a new healthy lifestyle...
Wake up early in the morning...Jog! jog! jog!

XD

NOW MY FACE...I WILL HAVE A TUMMY SOON.
D:

Do you miss me?

2009-10-02T07:22:00.000-07:00

Do you?
sighs.....
I'm so tired you know...
But...still got 2 more subject to go...

I can feel god is guiding me all this while,as i asked him to give me the wisdom.
And I'm feeling good and satisfied so far.
Guess I'm doing well for the final exams.
I shall be thankful ;

So so so...
I have 3 days to rest...How relaxing...
But in between need to do revision...

Will remove you soon...

=]

Dolly's Birthday!

2009-09-30T20:43:00.001-07:00

HELLO!

Today is our dolly's birthday!

Please wish my baby dolly Happy Birthday...

Date of birth : 1ST OCTOBER 2003

She is officially 6 years old now.

She have been with NG FAMILY for 6 years.

I Love her till death!

As Life flows

2009-09-29T23:03:00.001-07:00

Cross my heart and hope to die
With only seconds away before I...
It felt so good when I hit the ground
Come with me; join me on the other side

And life flows by
It hits me when I hit the ground
And life flows by
I am feeling lonely, fading slowly
And life flows by

If tomorrow never see the light
If I never get to say goodbye
It doesn't mean that I don't care
Come with me, and I will take you there

And life flows by
It hits me when I hit the ground
And life flows by
I am feeling lonely, fading slowly
And life flows by
I am feeling lonely, fading slowly
Out

When passion burns no more
When your friends are all gone
When laughter is heard no more
I am the fool who turned away

And life flows by
It hits me when I hit the ground
And life flows by
I am feeling lonely, fading slowly
And life flows by
I am feeling lonely, fading slowly
Out

God is with me(:

2009-09-29T21:57:00.000-07:00

What is wrong with the internet connection?
Can someone,somebody tell me what is wrong?
Do I have to wait and wait and wait...
Grr...

I need to do research...Oh dear...Lucky thing,blogspot is working...heh...
Get to write whatever i want here.
HAH! XD

Every night in my dream I see you,I feel you.

I feel the rain is haunting me every night.I'm not kidding...
I dream the world is coming to an end...
I really felt death is upon me this time...
So let's see how far it goes...Lets see how far it goes...

I am nuts,I am dumb dumb dee dumb dumb dumb,I am a shame,How mortifying!

Wow!
I found Blogging somehow fun and enjoyable.

Vomit out everything you feel people...
This is how the way you do....

I decided to pray to God every night I sleep to keep you strong.
I will spare sometime to visit you.
I feel your tears,I FEEL YOU...

Mika Mika Mika...Happy ending is LOVE.

A very short Update!Please Read.

2009-09-29T03:40:00.000-07:00

Hello readers!

This blog will be deleted right after my final exams!

Why?

Because I'm starting a new life.

Thanks for reading.

I need you...

2009-09-28T05:33:00.000-07:00

This sadness in me right now,
Is giving me pain in a way that I don't know how.
It's just that I'm alone with nobody else,
My life sure is colorless.

I don't know what or who I need.
I just want my heart stop the bleed.
It hurts all over me again and again,
I hope somebody could lend me a helping hand.

An injury I have in my heart.
I wish somebody could repair its parts.
But nobody sure is with me right now,
I just want to see you somehow.

These tears I cry for you,
Are not lies but they are true.
Alone I cry because of loneliness,
Right now, I am lifeless.

I need you especially now that I'm alone,
Can't even talk to you on the phone.
Hope that someday, you'll be here,
Here with me to wipe off my tear.

Written by Katrina Belleza

Life so saddening ;

2009-09-26T08:17:00.000-07:00

Final Exams is getting very near!I just managed to finish the first chapter of my revision.
Still got a few more to go and I'm ready to sit for my first exam on Tuesday.
Hopefully all this will end very soon.
So that I could have my semester break.
:D
My monitor been so sickening lately.Keep going on and off.
But now is getting better.
I shall bug my dad to get the new power supply as soon as possible cause
I don't wish this to happen again when I'm doing my half way research,If not I will ''ki siao''.
I got to do my research for one of the subject for my final exams.How stressful,wish nothing's gonna happen to this frigging monitor again.

Anyway,
Is true...Is true...
I just have to go through this again and again...
I'm filled with sorrow and pain as well as with tears.
Each time I look at how the way I live...Is a misery.
:(
When a person talks about love that always been broken and fixed repetitively,you know how it feels like.
You are a heart breaker...heart breaker...heart breaker...
Been through it since at the age 13 ,used to it already.
Never once is fine.

I wish I will never step backwards anymore ;
The end of me.

Golden Retriever and Rottweiler

2009-09-19T18:46:00.000-07:00

The pictures above are what I exactly saw in the pet shop yesterday...One of the baby rottweiler was very weak in walking so was taken to the vet.It was very very cute when it goes near to my boyfriend.

And there's like 4 golden retriever,and all were so cute...
One was in the dreamland sleeping with his leg shaking...Lol!
Then another one was playing with us so cute...=D really unforgettable!

Anyway,i got all this pictures from www.puppy.com.my .
They are selling those puppy in the internet though...
But the post stated: '' This post was edited by Admin on Nov 20, 2008, 2:03 PM ''...So it was last year's pictures...Just wanna show you what i saw yesterday in the pet shop.HAH!

I'm a dog lover! =D

time flies when you're busy...

2009-09-19T03:11:00.000-07:00

I've been going out with my Boy Friend lately.

He is busying with his sister's wedding now.(:
Well,is been quite sometime without any updates here,cause I bet no one will be reading my blog so often accept my friends.
Hmm...So what's up lately...
My final exams is around the corner...very very soon...Got to be ready for it.
Note to self:Study...Study...Study?
Lol.
I had a great time with my love lately,spending our lovely moments together.
Such a wonderful one.
Anyway,another year of Hari Raya for the Muslims again...
Just wanna wish SELAMAT HARI RAYA TO ALL THE MALAYS IN MALAYSIA.
=D
And I need to spend more of my time in studying.
29th September is a big day.
______________________________________

This morning,I felt so damn lazy to wake up due to the cooling weather.
So i skip-ed business communication's extra class given by my lecturer.
Lucky,my love fetched me to pay for my 4 months fees in time.Thanks Love!=D

After settling my debts in the college.
We went off to lunch.
Before that,we bought some stuff for love's mum.
Whoops,I forgotten about those 20 cents sweets.Gonna find it in my bag or don't tell me i left it somewhere....Urghh...wait i go check....*run*
Shrug,unfortunately,i lost it...i wanted it and my love bought it for me.Lol.
Was holding it...but how could it be lost...Might have lost it during lunch time.
Hmmm...Nevermind.
After that,we went to the pet shop!
The pet shop's entrance was quite smelly cause of the chickens.
Lol.
I saw 2 lil monkeys.Awwh so cute and parrots as well.
I wanted the parrot to talk but the parrot wasn't talking at all,so forget about it.
Then we walked inside and I saw dogs!Especially the golden retriever so attractive...is just soooooooo adorable and cute i tell you.Until now I still can't forget about how cute it is.
Missing it,and should have took a picture of it.
My boy friend and I was thinking to have it someday in the future.
Is just so so so so so Cuteeeeeeeee!But sadly,they are selling it for rm1000 without certificate.
Too expensive,isn't it?
And we left the pet shop,and have chicken rice for lunch.

We really really did had a great time after lunch though.
Hehe...
After,my love left...
I started to ''ai sui''(in hokkien)
I painted 'English rose' colour on my finger nails
and 'really rose' colour on my toe nails.
So here's the pics i took:

My own french manicure ....haha...Fake nails:Nice right?

And let me introduce you to my new lil soft toy from Hush puppies!
I don't know what name should i call her..Any suggestion?but she is a her!HAHA
Anyway,love bought it for me when he is busying buying cloths in hush puppies for his sis's wedding.Very cute...It comes with a strong magnet.And i made her hug my handbag holder.Hopefully no one will steal her away from me and I don't wish snatch thieves will snatch my handbag in the future...Trying hard to hold it tight and be aware of snatch thieves on the street that usually snatch woman's handbag nowadays. Thanks to my Love again :
And and and...This is my DOLLY that never give up in begging me to carry her to sit on my lap...Not only me,but everyone in my family who sits in front of the computer.
She just love to sit on people's lap la.Manja punya dog:

Remember the day ;

2009-09-06T08:47:00.001-07:00

We've lost the love that we shared
We can't speak we just stare
I'm afraid to look you in the eyes

So have we claimed the last life tonight?
We loved we lost we died you and I
All around us an emptiness fills this room
I'll remember the day something changed within you
Soon we'll chant
Our love ends

We've lost the love that we shared
We can't speak we just stare
And I'm afraid how much you changed tonight
We've lost the love that we shared
We can't speak we just stare
I'm afraid to look you in the eyes

Don't look at me if it has to be this way
Soon we'll change and the bitterness fades away
We'll be wondering just what the hell happened here
I'll be happy but just now I'm gripped with fear
Soon we'll chant
Our love ends
Soon we'll chant
Our love ends

We've lost the love that we shared
We can't speak we just stare
And I'm afraid how much you changed tonight
We've lost the love that we shared
We can't speak we just stare
I'm afraid to look you in the eyes

I'm breathing but not alive

We've lost the love that we shared
We can't speak we just stare
And I'm afraid how much you changed tonight
We've lost the love that we shared
We can't speak we just stare
I'm afraid to look you in the eyes

I'm breathing
But I'm not alive
It's just a matter of time
It's just a matter of time

Entertainment ;

2009-09-04T06:35:00.000-07:00

I'm checking out on the band named 'Soler'.
After I saw the music video in ASTRO AEC,I started to get curious about them.
The band SOLER is created by the twin brothers from Macau.I think they both are very cool in singing with that kind of 'amo' appearance.Is pretty talented.
After I saw their music video in TV,I quickly googled them to find out more.
Preety awesome after knowing them with great voices.
If i'm not mistaken they both are Eurasians.
They can fluently speak and sing in 7 languages, including English,Mandarin,Spanish,French,official languages of Macau Cantonese and Portugese.Brilliant right?
Besides that,I was searching for more information about the T music festival and i get to know that the concert will be held at Bukit Jalil National Stadium on the 12th of September 2009.
Featuring by a host of regional acts such as Joey Yung from Hong Kong, David Tao from Taiwan, James and Chin from Thailand, and Kelvin Tan from Singapore, among others.Local acts are also there to entertain such as Z-Chen, Eric Lim and many others.

Well check this video out :
This is the music video that I saw in TV just now,just wanna share it here.
Hope you all will like it too.

Soler 風的季節

Last but not least,I also wanna share one of my favorite song from Justin Lo.I remember I sang this song ridiculously to Angie with bad words last time.
Thanks to Angie for introducing me this song from her ex boy friend.:D

Justin Lo - Battle with Rich Guy (決戰二世祖) [KTV]

Better in time ;

2009-09-03T01:20:00.000-07:00

I'm not using dastoryofherlife.blogspot.com anymore but I've changed to aslifeflows.blogspot.com.

Finally dolly is all fine now without those ticks and fleas because I bought her the poison collar.
:)
I'm glad that I can get to sleep with her already.And guess she is Happy too.
Things are getting better,so far so good.mmmhm...
Apparently Angela is coming back from her National Service on saturday.
I can't wait to see her already,must have changed a lot.
I Miss seeing her already.Lol.
Can't wait to hear ghost stories from her,is gonna be interesting without a doubt.=D

Well, I've nothing much to talk about anyway,just wanna let people know about me changing my link that's all.

I wish everyone is doing well.
And, and ,and...
I will update once I have something interesting to share.

Cry -Rihanna

2009-09-01T07:55:00.000-07:00

No dinner for today and ...and I'm currently feeling emotional.

Random pictures I took ;

2009-08-21T03:22:00.000-07:00

I am bored at the moment.(:

I don't wanna fight no more

2009-08-12T10:06:00.001-07:00

I can't sleep,
everything i ever knew,
Is a lie,
without you,

I can't breathe,
when my heart is broke in two,
There's no beat,
without you,

You're not gone,
but you're not here,
At least that's the way it seems tonight,
If we could try to end these wars,
I know that we can make it right,
cause baby,

I don't wanna fight no more,
I forgot what we were fighting for,
and this lonelyness that's in my heart,
won't let me be apart from you,

I don't wanna have to try,
Girl, to live without you in my life,
So, i'm hoping we can start tonight,
cause i don't wanna fight,
no more,

How can I leave,
when everything that I adore,
and everything I'm living for,
Girl, it's in you,

I can't dream,
sleepless nights have got me bad,
The only dream i ever had,
is being with you,

I know that we can make it right,
It's gonna take a little time,
Lets not leave ourselves with no way out,
lets not cross that line,(that line)

I don't wanna fight no more,
I forgot what we were fighting for,
and this lonelyness that's in my heart,
won't let me be apart from you,

I don't wanna have to try,
Girl, to live without you in my life,
So, i'm hoping we can start tonight,
cause i don't wanna fight,
no more,

Remember that i made a vow,
that i would never let you go,
I meant it then, I mean it now,
and i want to tell you so,

I don't wanna fight no more, (oh no)
I forgot what we were fighting for,
and this lonelyness that's in my heart,
won't let me be apart from you,

I don't wanna have to try,
Girl, to live without you in my life,
So, i'm hoping we can start tonight,
(can we start)
cause i don't wanna fight,
no more...

I don't wanna fight no more,
I forgot what we were fighting for, (oh yeah)
and this lonelyness that's in my heart,
(my heart)
won't let me be apart from you,

I don't wanna have to try,
Girl, to live without you in my life,
So, i'm hoping we can start tonight,
(I'm hoping)
cause i don't wanna fight,
no more.......

It's all a lie,
Without you,
without you......

Recovering from the past ;

2009-08-07T07:46:00.000-07:00

I know I've been annoying him once awhile,I don't want to and I don't mean to.
I thought I could feel better without him,but seems like its a failure.Going Nuts.
Anyway,I'm gonna recover from the past soon,I've said it!I mean it!*arghhhh*
Yes,I know I don't understand the sentence of ''get the hell out of your life''.And I am completely BULLSHIT.Tell the whole world in your facebook all you want.I used my dad account to remove you for a reason,I know how it feels whenever I see you writing bad things about me,even though you said is not related to me but you know what's in your heart feeling about me.I don't wanna see you saying all that to me anymore,I don't even know what I'm feeling towards you saying all that about me.
I promised this time I won't argue with you or talk to you anymore.I won't be in your life making you miserable...I won't bring you burden either.You wish i didn't exist in you life.And now i will make your wish come true...I won't make you involve anything about me.Treat me like i never existed alright.I deserve myself a Bullshit.
Thank you.I will never want my life to be like this anymore but to have a better life.I've enough of experiencing relationships.I can't be lost but to wake my self up.From now onwards I will never talk about my past life being with you anymore.Or being aware of you,I wanna forget about everything.Nothing is going to related to you from this post onwards.
_____________________________________________________________________________________
Wanted to blog about this earlier but pictures were not completed.But still I can't wait to share it.Gosh!It was last Friday 07/08/09.The last day of my mid term exams.
We was having an exam in the morning for 2 hours.And I went back to have lunch.I've heard that 'Pan Wei Bo' will be coming to Tarc.I was quite excited,but i was feeling uncertain whether I'm able to go or not.My friends suggested me to go lunch with them after the exam.So they picked me up from my house.Ended up,just one of my friend were the only one who fetched me.I was feeling quite weird and kept wondering where is another friend of mine goes,I asked and asked.What can we do just the both of us.I knew there's another car behind look exactly like her.At first,I don't believe what she says,but i ended up being stupid again.I got fooled by them....ARGHH...i thought it was only the second time,but but..is already the 3rd time.=(Now i only know I'm stupid and naive.Lmao.Is fun though.
Well,after having a light meal in sushi king,I was feeling a bit sad that no one suggested me to go get the ticket to see wei bo.Then i told them I wanna get the ticket in Bread history since they told me earlier about it.So i mentioned,then I went there to get the ticket plus the album.I was so delirious about getting the ticket so fast.And we was told that wei bo was gonna drop by to bread history for awhile.But we couldn't wait any longer for him anymore,we was worried we will have no seats and all . After that they took me to their friend's place near tarc.
So we as in 5 girls in the room chit chatting about how i am being fooled,then only found out they lied 3 times to me!T.T Poor me.But it was also a good thing to get to know new friends that are older than me...Benefits me a lot.HAHAHAHA...XD
After crapping ,off we go to Tarc.

Shy People:

We reached tarc quite early i guess,around 4pm.We almost waited for an hour or 2...can't remember.But what I know was long.Wei bo took a long time to appear on the stage.Lol.So I have nothing better to do to take a picture of the stage.

finally it begins;

This is the starting part of the emcee entertaining us

Now there it goes ,the pan wei bo ;

Hot chick;=]

Interesting performance;
All his dancers are seriously beautiful and talented in dancing.The dance was very energetic.

I really love the dance.

I kept taking pictures of them talking ;

Blurr picture of him singing;
Singing;

Talking again;

Received flowers...Sun flowers?

3 of his fans went up to the stage to dance.shall i say the girl is lucky.=]

The guy with spectacles did some break dance.Quite cool.
Beat boxing for the guy to dance;
Wei bo was asking the girl to dance with his dancing teacher;

Feeling funny;

Learning the steps of her dance;

ended up,the girl chosen wei bo to dance with her;sweet...
this guy was really good in dancing too;

Don't know what kind of present they got;

Was wondering which door is wei bo coming out...lol;

Those guys told us not to get near from there;

And I managed to take a picture of him coming out;

After feeling so tired,we went kim gary for dinner ;

Wei Wei's

Went back around 9 something,I had a great day...Thanks to them!=D

The album;

_______________________________________________

Dear Sarah,I've read your blog.I never know how you feel towards me.After reading your post,i only realized how much you missed the past we had together.I never forget about the times we had earlier.
Is just some thing happened lately,I never expected it to be.You know since the day you came my house some huge problem facing me,I guess i should tell you about this when we gonna have a gathering again.I really wish you could understand what kind of situation I am in now.You was involved in this situation.That's why you should know why we have our own changes until now.The distance of our relationship is very far apart now,but no matter what,I believe we can make it right.I am sorry if you don't like the way i am now.I know I've changed a lot compare to last time.I was just trying to get a good reputation,but it doesn't work this way.So we shall talk again when you come back to the wonderland of us last time.Thanks for getting in touch.

Feeling sick...

2009-07-30T03:09:00.000-07:00

I won't be updating that much anymore.A lot of things happened lately,and I don't wanna talk about it.Feeling very sick with my throat.*Itchy*I kept grunting like a pig.Lol.
My mid term exams is coming on Monday...sighs.Hopefully I can make it.

Every time when i thought of him,I really have no mood to do anything.
Forcing my self not to bother him anymore.Kept wondering what is he doing now.
When is this gonna end i wonder.

Is he even gonna read my blog to check on me?I don't think so anymore.I know he wont give a damn about me anyway.Cause I know he don't care anymore.I just don't deserve anything good from him.I understood very well.

Well,perhaps I shall stop talking about him already.
Got to be strong again and move on.

If anyone knows what i am feeling right now,I will be surprise.(:
I don't wish to see people ending up like me.Cause now,I am in a very bad situation.

Oh ya,my birthday is coming tomorrow,how sweet right.My mother is going Genting Highlands tomorrow,how i wish I could follow too,I was suppose to follow but suddenly she changed her mind.
I even know what kind of present I'm getting tomorrow...Heh...But i'm not celebrating it as usual.
This will be the second year of my worse birthday ever.The first one,was because of someone too.Is just a very unhappy birthday I had for the past and now.Sighs.I don't wanna talk any further about it either.

I'm so sick of my life.
Thanks a lot for giving me the chance to express my feelings here.(:
My dad is coming back soon,got to go now.Lmao!

Life's a mess ;

2009-07-19T06:25:00.000-07:00

Things just wont get any better but to face misery.Yes,i ruined everything I had just like that.Do you think I want it to happened?Well,maybe for you I wanted it.But all this wasn't the truth.
I just could not make it right to you.The distance we have is unpredictable.Sometimes close but sometimes is just have to be so far apart.
Perhaps our love is just as simple as this or as confusing as possible.
I'm very exhausted too...Things won't ended up like this if I am fine with everything.
I just couldn't hide myself but to express it out to you.
I am very sorry to make a bad day for your birthday.Forgive me.I just wish you would just celebrate happily with your family.I guess is just too late,I could only feel guilty myself towards you.
The most important thing about love is understanding and trust,but sad thing is we don't have.I am sorry, is all because of what i did during the past that couldn't make you trust me.I might not be understanding sometimes but i actually know why are your treating me like this.
I'm sorry that i can't make it to your expectation.I'm so sorry.

Lovely moments

2009-07-05T20:10:00.000-07:00

Spending our lovely moments together,i just have to feel like the happiest girl ever.
We had such a good time spending together yesterday.How nice if we have the chance to live together just for one day and one night.*Lol*
Yesterday's dinner was the best,and i managed to finish it all,perhaps I was very hungry.That's why is all good for me.^.^
I know I'm no good in being so detail of tasting food.My dad always tell me I don't know how to eat good food.
Well,should have take a picture of the food last night.Cause that is like the first time i get to eat his cooking.Aww...too bad,we ate it all but no pictures for the memories.But funny thing was I drew it in Paint so that i can keep it as a memory.Lol.Since I already drew it,i think i should just share it here.Is ugly okay,I'm not expecting any nicer..you know la...I'm using Paint!Hope no one is gonna laugh at this drawing.
Here it is ;

I'll be there

2009-06-26T06:55:00.000-07:00

Michael Jackson <3

You and I must make a pact, we must bring salvation back
Where there is love, Ill be there

Ill reach out my hand to you, Ill have faith in all you do
Just call my name and Ill be there

Ill be there to comfort you,
Build my world of dreams around you, Im so glad that I found you
Ill be there with a love thats strong
Ill be your strength, Ill keep holding on

Let me fill your heart with joy and laughter
Togetherness, well thats all Im after
Whenever you need me, Ill be there
Ill be there to protect you, with an unselfish love that respects you
Just call my name and Ill be there

If you should ever find someone new, I know hed better be good to you
cause if he doesnt, Ill be there
Dont you know, baby, yeah yeah
Ill be there, Ill be there, just call my name, Ill be there

(just look over your shoulders, honey - oo)

Ill be there, Ill be there, whenever you need me, Ill be there
Dont you know, baby, yeah yeah

Ill be there, Ill be there, just call my name, Ill be there...

Lmao!=D

2009-06-18T00:27:00.000-07:00

<333

2009-06-04T21:39:00.000-07:00

安靜 An Jing Silence
Other Translations: none

曲/詞: 周杰倫
Qu/Ci: Zhou Jie Lun
Music/Lyrics: Jay Chou

Translation: ava – www.jay-chou.net

只剩下鋼琴陪我談了一天
Zhi sheng xia gang qin pei wo tan le yi tian
Only the piano accompanies me throughout the day

睡著的大提琴
Shui jiao de da ti qin
The sleeping cello

安靜的舊舊的
An Jing de jiu jiu de
Quiet and so old

我想你已表現的非常明白
Wo xiang ni yi biao xian de fei chang ming bai
I think you've made yourself clear

我懂我也知道
Wo dong wo ye zhi dao
I know and I'm sure

你沒有捨不得
Ni mei you she bu de
You don't regret

你說你也會難過我不相信
Ni shuo ni ye hui nan guo wo bu xiang xin
You say you're upset too, that I don't believe

牽著你陪著我也只是曾經
Qian zhe ni pei zhe wo ye zhi shi cheng jin
You being with me was in the past

希望他是真的比我還要愛你
Xi wang ta shi zhen de bi wo hai yao ai ni
I hope he loves you more than I do

我才會逼自己離開
wo cai hui bi zi ji li kai
Only then will I bring myself to leave

Chorus

你要我說多難堪
Ni yao wo shuo duo nan kan
You want me to say it, but it is awkward

我根本不想分開
Wo gen ben bu xiang fen kai
I don't even want to break up

為什麼還要我用微笑來帶過
Wei she me hai yao wo yong wei xiao lai dai guo
Why must I depend on a smile to tide me through?

我沒有這種天份
Wo mei you zhe zhong tian fen
I don't have the ability

包容你也接受他
bao rong ni ye jie shou ta
To accept both you and him

不用擔心的太多
Bu yong dan xin de tai duo
Don't worry too much

我會一直好好過
Wo hui yi zhi hao hao guo
I'll still be fine

你已經遠遠離開
Ni yi jin yuan yuan li kai
You've already gone far away

我也會慢慢走開
Wo ye hui man man zou kai
And I will slowly walk away

為什麼我連分開都遷就著你
Wei she me wo lian fen kai dou qian jiu zhe ni
Why is it that I have to accommodate you even when [we] break up?

我真的沒有天份
Wo zhen de mei you tian fen
I really don't have the ability

安靜的沒這麼快
An jing de mei zhe me kuai
Staying silent doesn't come so fast

我會學著放棄你
Wo hui xue zhe fang qi ni
I will learn to give you up

是因為我太愛你
Shi ying wei wo tai ai ni
Because I love you so much

Repeat

=.=

2009-06-04T06:31:00.000-07:00

Life sucks lately.
I'm lost and I don't seems to know what I am doing everytime.
I found myself useless and hopeless.
I realize I'm so far away from the people out there.
I have been resting the whole day,don't know what else i can do.
I seriously need to get a life.DAMN!EMILY GET A LIFE!T.T
Everyday I wake up,doing the same thing again and again...I can even list it out.
Gosh!I seriously hope My course will start as soon as possible,if not I will stuck here forever without knowing anything.
I felt guilty having all this bad habit in front of my own dad.Which is sitting in front of the pc,eat,sleep and watch tv.SIGHS.*Slap myself*I just got to wake up and face the real world.
I got to sleep early for tomorrow's exam...I'm gone.=[

Bored to death;

2009-06-02T01:04:00.000-07:00

The pulau pangkor trip was quite boring actually.Nothing much we can do there instead of swimming and buying fishy stuffs everywhere.

The meals provided from the hotel i shall say is not the price of a four-star rating.

Well,I don't wana say much about it.But it was full of regrets after exploring the places are much more better than this 4 star hotel.The hotel we are staying is quite far away from the town,so eventually dad rented 2 bikes for the one last night.We as in 5,mum doesnt want to follow us.Dad and I squeeze in to one bike.Lol.We have to go through alot of dark places.Very freaky!

We ate ikan panggang and sotong!Enjoying eating and chit-chating.Awhile later,mum called and told us that someone tried to open the hotel room door but couldnt get in,and the door was open half way.I was shocked and worried,cause mum is alone in the hotel.So dad was talking and talking ,taking his own sweet time to leave.Sighs.

Then we went back to the hotel,i felt very insecure.I can't even sleep peacefully.In the middle of the night,there was this strong wind.I kept hearing noises under the wood floor.Mum heard it too,i quickly went to sleep with mum.Lol.Suddenly,the toilet door kept making some freaky noise.Damn it!Mum and I was quite scared.We don't know there was a strong wind until the next morning mum saw all the towel flew away.

Seriously,the facilities provided in that so called 4 star hotel is very bad.*speechless about it*

The next morning,I had a really bad stomach ache...and I didnt follow them for breakfast.Mum said the breakfast was nice.Especially with eggs!T.T...I was looking for eggs since the first day of breakfast...Ishhh!ahh well,I stay back alone in the hotel,continue sleeping.And i felt abit insecure after hearing all those nonsense ytd night.Lmao.I quickly went to bath and get ready .Luckily nothing happen.

We checked out and have lunch.It was really a long journey geting back to penang.I wasnt in a good mood actually.Traffic jam everywhere cause school holidays just started.Sighs.So hard to be patient.Well,and we straight away took dolly back.She was quite happy and excited to see us!Been so busy for a day.Lol.Apparently her period is coming thats why male dogs are chasing her..hehe..Dolly must be very attractive to all the male dogs eh! ^.^

Pictures I took from My camera ;

Dolly sun bathing behind...^.^

Nowadays I have nothing better to do,I keep thinking is there any constructive things to do at home?Hmmm...lol.

Anyway, I can't wait for the last paper on the 5th june.After that will be my holidays until 12th then I guess i should be getting my new time table already.

Got to remind myself 12thjune is my subject registration day.=D

Monday ;

2009-05-24T21:13:00.000-07:00

I'm going pulau pangkor on the 28th of may to 30th of may.2 days nia.hehe.
Sighs.I'm gonna be worry for dolly for that 2 days.T.T
I hope everyone in my family is taking the effort to send her to the right place as in like a nice environment.
Well,I wish everything is gona work smoothly. :)

安靜

2009-05-18T04:17:00.000-07:00

我會學著放棄你　是因為我太愛你 !

For you ;

2009-05-18T02:00:00.001-07:00

Is very meaningful!Thanks to ''wyteheart''!

Sunny day

2009-05-17T18:53:00.000-07:00

Today is Sunday.Something happened in the middle of sleeping.I can't believe it.Whoops!I better keep it to myself.I woke up early in the morning,looking at dolly sleeping so cute beside me...aww...she is like a baby sleeping so cute,I dare not disturb her and went back to sleep again.Because if I wake up she will follow me.But when in the middle of the night i woke up,she was like so sleepy that she cannot even get down from the bed,so cute of her you know!I'm loving her so much!HAHA...I woke up around 9 something and i'm here for blogging.So good morning blog spot!
hehe...Before that,I did some research about how can I overcome sadness and be a happy person? Now I'm all well.No worries.I shouldn't think so much anymore,there's so much that I have to go through in my life ,i still need to experience more about life.This situation is still consider a small one,I guess I will face a bigger one in the future.Is just the matter of time.I'm told that this doesn't mean the end of the world ,and i should take it easy.

As I know,my dad is planing for a 2days trip in pulau pangkor after my final exams.I'm quite excited about it.Is been ages that i never been to any trip for years.Now,this is the time to relax and have fun.Everyone in my family will be going,thats what I always wanted all the while.hehe.
Cause the langkawi trip last time was only dad,bro,and I.One of my brother and mom did'nt make it.Finally now everyone of us are going for this trip to pulau pangkor.haha...Family is always the best to go with!

Oh yeah,I did do some research about how this woman over calm herself ;

Break-ups for us especially on women seem to be nightmares. A lot of crying, sleepless nights and desperations are just some of the common effects of relationship break-ups. The hardest questions being asked is how to move on with life without him? Is there happiness after break-up? My answer is YES!!!

You must first understand that relationship break-ups are just a normal thing. That it can happen to anybody. Because not all relationship are made perfect and smooth. Problems and conflicts usually arise and if couples can't bear to handle these obstacles, a break-up will occur.

Women are born much sensitive than men. Mostly, in a relationship, its women who is deeply affected and have difficulty of moving on with life. I had relationship before and experience broken heart due to relationship break-up. But I can say that I was able to overcome that situation and went back to my normal life. How did I do that? Here's how:

1. I always pray to God whenever I feel so lonely. Whatever heartaches and worries that are boggling me were forwarded to Him. He is my source of strength.

2. I listen to good inspirational music and avoid listening to love songs. Gospel songs are good in healing sad feelings. It can also help me have a nice sleep.

3. I engage myself to lots of works. Being busy will give me no time to think about heartaches. Gardening or home crafts are great ideas to start with.

4. I go group dating with friends
. Being with supportive friends will ease your ill feelings.

5. Don't pretend you don't know him or don't avoid talking about him for it will only prolong that recovery period. Its better that you will be used to discuss topic about him until everything becomes just a normal topic.

6. Keep yourself blooming. Develop more your beauty and health care. Don't let your heartaches ruin your personality.

7. Open your heart for a new relationship. Don't be afraid to love once more. Not all men are the same. Just be extra careful next time in choosing the right guy.

It is true that time will heal the wounds but it is also a fact that the person involved must do actions to make time do it.

Do you think I can do like what she does?Well,I shall try.
But number 5 is impossible.And number 7 is hard.Oh ya!number 4,i don't have many friends,so is a bit hard.Sighs.And the rest I'm okay with it maybe.=)

I found this video:

我好孤单哦

2009-05-17T00:33:00.000-07:00

我真的真的很辛苦
我没办法忘掉了你

我没想到我们的爱就这么容易过去。

我知道我自错了，
难道我们之间的感情就这样结束了吗？
我知道我说什么都没用了。
可是我们最美好的回忆，
令我真的很难忘。

Yesterday ;

2009-05-16T09:04:00.000-07:00

One of my favorite song;

He left ;

2009-05-15T04:58:00.000-07:00

I'm falling apart.
How I wish he knew how I feel when he left me .
_____________________________________________________________
I walked out all alone,
Get some left over coins and called her from the public phone.
I crossed the road and walked again,
till i can see the sky so clear in front my eyes,I tell myself why is this happening to me.
Siting on the stone looking at the waves from the sea like an idiot crying myself all alone without anyone there for me.
It was drizzling,and i thought it would rain heavily.But why is it not raining i wonder.
Sighs.
Siting alone while waiting for a close friend to reach for one hour.
But she still haven't reach and I
thought of my parents will get worried,and i decided to walked back home alone for not letting them to get worry of me just because of this matter I have in me.
Well,I'm glad that she is able to come and console me even though she has chicken pox.
No matter how ugly her hands looks like she still took the effort to come from public bus just to cheer me up.I thank her for being such a good friend for many years.
Everything just happened so quickly and it ended so fast.
He's gone,He's already gone.He might be gone forever.
Tsk..Tsk
Time past and people changed.
I shall face what I'm having now and i got to go through everything.
This is the time and perhaps this is the end of my love life.
But the feelings I have in me,will still remain the same.

I am truly sorry ;

2009-05-04T01:06:00.000-07:00

Tied around the mess I've made
The air I breathe much harder
Everytime I speak
The words you've heard a thousand times
I know you're sick of it.
I'm sorry for making everything that hurts the most.
And after all is said and done
You pick me up no matter where i fall
You hold me in your arms and
thats like the luckiest feeling of all...

I've learned from the past,and i fear of making any stupid mistakes again.
Somehow, I can't change the past, but I belive I can change the future.
And I'm really sorry for what I've done.

Sunday

2009-05-03T19:36:00.000-07:00

Have you heard of this quote?

Pay no mind to those who talk behind your back,

it simply means that you are two steps ahead.

that is one of my favourite quote.(:

I love the weather today,very cooling!

Nice to sleep,but still cant sleep as late as I wanted yet.Sighs.

Dolly asked me to carry her,and now she's siting on me.Lol.

So fast,and is gona be monday again.

My life is becoming so meaningless each day I woke up.

Well,how i wish i have someone to talk to when i'm bored or sad instead of talking to my self

everytime.I know is crazy to talk to myself.Lol.

I wish dolly could talk to me,and understand me.so that i can express out all my feelings and i would'nt have type it all here.You know why i wish for dollly?Cause i know dolly will never betray me.She will always be home whenever i need her.She always know what I have done in the past lately.She knew everything,but sad thing is ,she cant talk.

And I treat dolly like my sister,as you know im the only daughter in the family.Imagine how boring can it be with no one to talk to especially im sad.,there's no one that i can talk to about my feelings!Everytime i need to call and waste money to just express my feelings out to a close friend.Sometimes,i have this thinking she might get bored of me saying all about how i feel.Moreover everytime when i call she will be busy working for her mum and no time to console me,

And i will feel left out.

Well,afterall...i still prefer a sister that lives together with me.

************************************

Treasured memories of one so dear

Though absent you are always near

A million words could not express

My love, my sorrow, my emptiness.

*********************************************************

Cry myself to sleep

2009-05-03T07:27:00.000-07:00

day after day

night after night

i fell and fell

but nothing seemed right

so i got down on my knees and begged

plz be with me but nothing is going to work

so i cry myself to sleep...

Goodnight my love.

This song always cheer me up ;

2009-05-02T09:06:00.000-07:00

I always listen to this when I can't move on with my life.This song really helps me to be strong.I really love this song seriously!

When you get caught in the rain
With nowhere to run
When youre distraught
And in pain without anyone
When we keep crying out
To be safe
But nobody comes
And you feel so far away
That you just can't find your way home
you can get there alone
it's okay
once you say

I can make it through the rain
I can stand up once again
On my own and I know
That Im strong enough to mend
And every time I feel afraid
I hold tighter to my faith
And I live one more day
And I make it through the rain

And if you keep falling down
Dont you dare give in
You will arise safe and sound
So keep pressing on steadfastly
And youll find what you need to prevail
Once you say is

I can make it through the rain
I can stand up once again
On my own and I know
That Im strong enough to mend
And every time I feel afraid
I hold tighter to my faith
And I live one more day
And I make it through the rain

And when the wind blows
And shadows grow close
Dont be afraid
Theres nothing you cant face
And should they tell you
Youll never pull through
Dont hesitate
Stand tall and say
Yeah yeah yeahhhh

I can make it through the rain
I can stand up once again
On my own and I know
That Im strong enough to mend
And every time I feel afraid
I hold tighter to my faith
And I live one more day
And I'll make it through the rain

I can make it through the rain
Can stand up once again
And I live one more day, and I
I can make it through the rain
Oh yes, you can
Youre gonna make it through the rain.

♥
Everytime I stumble,
This song will always be in my mind.And I will listen to it to cheer up myself.
The louder it plays on my ear phone,the more i feel the comfort from this song.It helps me to wipe away my silent tears and wipe away the pain. ♥

It does not need a special day to bring you to my mind
The days when I don't think of you are very hard to find
Your loss is a heartache no one can heal
Your memory is something no one can steal
Wishing your absence was only a dream...

__________________________________________________

Beautiful memories silently kept
Of one we loved and will never forget.

Life Quotes

2009-05-02T00:31:00.000-07:00

There comes a point in your life

when you realize who matters,

who never did,

who wont anymore,

and who always will.

So don't worry about people from your past,

there's a reason why they didn't make it to your future.

There comes a time in life

When you have to let go of all

the pointless drama

and the people who create it and surround yourself

with people who make you laugh

so hard that you forget

the bad and focus solely on the good.

After all,life is too short to be anything but happy.

Heartless People with no brain to think.=[

2009-04-30T18:48:00.000-07:00

Woke up in the morning,and I started to get ''OMG.WHY!''Well,it was a forwarded email from a friend.Sighs...Seriously,I'm very sad to see this happening.Is so painful to see all this babies.I almost cried.How sad!

It says;

Think before you decide to have sex. Think before you get an unwanted pregnancy. A baby is for life, its not a toy. Use your brain before you dump the baby in a garbage bin and leave the baby to die. You should know whether is your boyfriend are ready to get married or take responsibility or not if you get pregnant. If no then don’t have sex or practice safe sex.If you thought you were ready to have sex, you should consider what would happen if you became pregnant.I am not talking about religious part, people know about it. You should get married to prevent committing the sin of fornication or adultery. People won’t do it if they think about religious.How if you have an unwanted pregnancy today, what would you do? Are you ready to be a mother? If yes, then good for you.Now you have the child no matter what. It is a life that you have created, and if you are unable to take care of this child, you can do the most unselfish, loving thing, and that is to let a loving family adopt him/her. That is the choice you have to make. Don’t dump your baby..

Bored

2009-04-30T05:23:00.000-07:00

Helena & Me.

I'm missing her.

I hope to hear from her soon.

She is one of my good friend when i was in chili's.

I still remember all the past we had together.

*sobs*

Now,she's no longer living here anymore.

Sighs.

How i wish i could turn back time.

Hopefully she is doing fine there and still having a good relationship with forest.

Thanks to forest for sending me this picture of helena and me.

Mid term exams over,but one more to go.

2009-04-25T23:48:00.000-07:00

One more to go on the 6th of May.sighs.

I'm tired of studying,how i wish i could sleep,eat,sleep,eat ,sleep again and eat again.

Then I won't be this skinny anymore.

Honestly,i'm SUPER LAZY.

Ahhh well,I've nothing much to write about today.

I'm bored la...

How I wish you 're here with me.

I'm missing you.